Look at that face! Could you ever really be mad at that face?
Sure you could.
He’s 4 and he knows where each and every one of my last nerves are and exactly what to do to grate on them.
Luckily, he also knows exactly where to tug on my heart strings and can make me melt into a puddle of Mommy Love in a single sentence.
“I need to go potty!”
The other day I had put the kids to bed and my husband had left to go get us some dinner. My son and daughter share a room and I’m used to ignoring their winding down antics that usually go on about 30 minutes or so before they both pass out from exhaustion.
Lately my son has started playing the “I need to go to the bathroom!” card though. Repeatedly.
Most of the time, he doesn’t have to go at all. It’s just a ploy. Sometimes, he does though. So when he throws out the “I need to potty” card, I can’t ignore it and I let him go.
However, I know that at least half the time, I am being played by him. He knows it, I know it, we all know it but it’s not a chance I’m willing to take so I tend to just set my mouth in a firm line and send him off to the restroom.
This time though, when he came out of the rest room he stopped and looked up at me with his big hazel eyes and said, “Mommy, I don’t want you to be mad at me.“
In that moment, I realized something really big (something I already knew, but perhaps had forgotten). He NEVER wants to make me mad. He’s not wired that way (for the record, neither of my kids are.). His goal is NEVER to make me mad. Sometimes I lose sight of that though. If he is willfully disobeying or doing something that he knows drives me up the wall…of course he’s trying to make me mad, right?
Honestly though, what kid wants their mom mad at them? None that I know. Instead, they are generally seeking attention in any way they can get it. Be it positive or negative, they just want YOU to look at them, acknowledge them and be reminded that you are always there for them.
Now, was this news to me? No. But I think I needed the reminder.
Will I ever get annoyed again when he tricks me into letting him go to the bathroom when he should be sleeping? I’m sure I will. I hope to keep in mind though, that he’s doing it because he just wants to see me again.
He knows he’s going to get a kiss and a hug and basically get a good night snuggle fest all over again, and what’s wrong with that?
Our kids don’t want us to be mad. Their antics aren’t meant to piss us off and make us angry. They just want to be SEEN and loved and cuddled and reassured. So the next time your kiddo makes you want to pull your hair out, try and remember these words, “Mommy I don’t want you to be mad at me.” and look at the situation from a different angle.
So What Did I Say?
I pulled my little boy close and picked him up. I gave him a ton of kisses and asked him softly, “Would I smother you with kisses if I was mad?”. He smiled and hugged my neck tightly. I told him I loved him and sent him off to bed feeling like the luckiest mommy in the whole wide world.
PS: My son is awesome awesome awesome. He is one of the sweetest little guys I’ve ever known and is in no way a “bad” kid. He still drives me crazy sometimes, but I want to make it clear that I am one LUCKY mama! He is the best big brother/son!
I don’t talk about my family too much on here, but to learn more about us, you could read Our Story!