It’s so easy to get caught up in the day to day of our lives and forget to stop and smell the roses. The house needs cleaning, the kids need feeding and the clothes aren’t going to wash themselves.
Ever since I started this website, figuring out how to juggle all my duties has been tough. Working from home presents an interesting dilemma. You can fit work in whenever you want…no rigid hours, no boss to answer to, no real schedule.
The truth is though, as much as those are POSITIVES, they are also big time NEGATIVES.
You fit in work whenever you want….which means you work…alot. Too much.
You have no rigid hours, which means that you don’t really ever shut things down. The computer is always sitting there, telling you that you could (and probably should) be doing more.
You have no boss to answer to, except yourself. Who is YOUR harshest critic? Exactly.
You have no real schedule, which also means that you don’t really have defined work time and play time. It all kind of meshes together, which for some is the best of both worlds. Honestly though, it just leaves me feeling like I’m lacking a bit in every department. I can’t ever sit down and tune out one area of my life while focusing 100% of my attention on another. They consistently mesh and leave me feeling like I’m just skating by, which makes me feel inadequate because mediocrity has always equaled failure in my eyes (see the harshest critic comment above).
So this year, we’ve enrolled our children in 5 day a week preschool (4 hours a day). I’m not going to lie, it’s been tough for me! I mean, I’m home…right? Shouldn’t my kids be with me? It’s contrary to everything I believe in to send my kids off (especially my 2 year old! I mean goodness, she’s just a BABY!), while I stay home…that’s just not how it works.
Except it does work. It’s only been a bit over a week, and life is slowly starting to come back together around here again. I’m giving more to my family because I’m focusing on work and house while they are away at work and school. When they are at school (kids) and work (husband) I clean my house. I work. When they come home, I can focus on THEM. Not for just 15 minutes here and there in between the load of laundry that needs folding and the pot of spaghetti sauce on the stove that is about to bubble over.
I am learning (slowly) how to manage my time so that when my family is home with me, they are my focus. I sat down yesterday and played Barbies (Mental Note: Buy Barbie Clothes, playing with naked Barbies is a bit awkward) with my daughter yesterday for 45 minutes. I didn’t have to worry about dinner. I didn’t have to worry about work. Everything in my household and in my work life was completed and on auto pilot.
My QUALITY time with my daughter was a great reminder that the QUANTITY of your time means nothing if it’s not really QUALITY time.
All this to say, I know I have a lot of work at home moms that read my blog. I know a lot of them are bloggers. I know a lot of them have their children at home with them and struggle with the balance between work and home life. I just want to say, it’s okay to get help. Maybe a preschool situation isn’t right (or feasible) for your family. Maybe it’s a friend you trade off babysitting duties with a few days a week. Maybe it’s hiring someone to do some light cleaning or to mow the lawn. Maybe it’s just getting your kids to pitch in more so the entire burden of running a household is NOT on you!
This isn’t a slam at stay at home moms that don’t work or moms that work outside the home. I’ve done both, and they come with their own struggles and triumphs.
Making the mindset change from being a stay at home mom to being a work from home mom was the best thing I’ve done for my family and for my website. It encouraged me to put up boundaries. It also taught me that it’s okay to get help (including hiring a VA, outsourcing my website design and of course, sending the kids to 5 day a week preschool).
If you are struggling with juggling, sit down and find a way to make your time work for you. Get help, ask for help and accept the help that has been given to you as guilt free as you possibly can (we’re mom’s…some guilt is par for the course 😉 ).
Oh and when you have the choice between Barbies and Conference Calls? Choose Barbies 😉
Your blogs are so inspiring, Heather! I don’t even have kids, and yet I feel like your positive attitude empowers me to want to reevaluate the things I’m juggling in my own life (especially with my new job/internship)! 🙂 Great blog! P.S. Lizzie’s picture is ADORABLE!
Aww, thanks Crisie! I appreciate that so much coming from you!
Thank you so much for putting into words what I have often felt. I stumbled onto your webpage today and look forward to reading more.
Glad you enjoyed it!
I’m glad to see I wasn’t the only one, because I’m a SAHM and I enrolled my 2-yr old in school, but she’s their from 7:30AM to 4:30PM. I don’t feel guilty after reading this. It seems like its too much, but her school has lots of programs after school. She gets her regular classes up until 2PM and then she gets ballet, computers and sports, depending on the day. I love that school, my oldest is also their and I also started her at 2 but I was working at the time so it was more a need as the school is cheaper than a babysitter! Thanks for those beautiful words that erased my guilt immediately.
That’s awesome that the school is cheaper than a babysitter! LOL. Schools around here are pretty pricey!
Wonderful post – SO uplifting and something all moms need to hear. Isn’t it amazing the guilt that comes with motherhood? I just went to a friend’s cookout tonight without my daughter (too close to bedtime, would have been ugly) and I initially felt so guilty. I think sometimes we have to make tough decisions to protect ourselves and the best interests of our children. Quality over quantity, always.
I remember the first time I went to a baby shower without my son. I built up to it all week long and I was actually excited to go. Just a couple of hours with other women and some fun and celebration. Then I got there, and everyone else had their baby’s with them! I felt sooo horribly guilty. But I needed the time away! Yes, I think the guilt starts setting in the moment the 2nd line shows up on the hpt! LOL
I couldn’t have said it better! I just enrolled my daughter in preschool as well and I am slowly getting over the fact that she is gone for a few hours and learning how it really is bettering me as a mom and business owner. Love this and sharing it!
Good for you! Thanks for sharing!
Enjoyed reading this post. I am struggling with juggling right now and just got the inspiration I needed to get it straight. Thank you.
I’m so glad this post has inspired you!
I constantly struggle trying to find the family/work balance. When I worked outside the home I worked long crazy hours and never got to see my kids. I walked away from that career to stay home with them so I could see them more and now I DO see them more, but the quality of that time is really lacking. I love my family and I love the business I’m in that affords me the choice to what I want/need to do with my day. Hopefully soon, I’ll find that balance. I’ll keep trying because my family is worth it. 🙂
You will find it, but remember that this is only a short season in our lives. Soon the kids will be grown and balance will be easier to come by!
I gave my three weeks notice at work on Friday. Im so happy I get to stay at home and care for my girls, a 9 yr old and a 9 month old plus Im expecting 7 mths now, so when I read your blog I felt confident that it is the best choice Ive made. Im going to be at home to ttend to my family and myself 100%.
Good luck! I have loved staying home with my babies!
I agree with your decision to put the children in a preschool. The socialization (that makes them sound like animals but I don’t mean it that way) is awesome for them and they will learn so much. I have always worked but have always said that if I did have the chance to stay at home, a preschool would be the best thing for my children. In the long run, it really does pay off. Thank you for all that you do to help the rest of us save!! 🙂