I don’t often jump into deeply personal subject matter here on Family Friendly Frugality. However, with the holidays approaching, I think it’s important that I share a bit of my background with all of you. The idea of writing a post about this has weighed heavy on my heart for awhile now. I knew two things for sure:
- I didn’t want it to be an “oh pity me” type post
- It almost feels unnecessary to write this, because I know, and have experienced firsthand, the generosity and wonderfulness (it’s a word, I promise) that is the FFF community. Therefore, if I was going to write it, it had to be personal and not preachy at all.
Now that you are scratching your head and likely wondering what in the world I am about to reveal to you, first let me say…I’m not special. My situation wasn’t unique. THAT is why I feel compelled to write this post. Not because I went through something that other’s didn’t, but mainly because I went through something that so many others did (and still are currently).
Let’s Get Started
My mom and dad were married for 16 years. During this time frame, my mom never once worked. She was a stay at home mom and she was great at it. I have such great memories growing up with my mom at home with me, and I honestly don’t recall a time where my parents were unhappy.
However, one day my parents told us they were divorcing and my entire world was turned upside down. Now, as a disclaimer here, I was young and neither my mother or father are around any longer to verify fact from the fiction of a little girl’s memories. I do remember that suddenly, my stay at home mother with no real job experience whatsoever, was forced into the workplace.
First she found a job at Kmart. She didn’t know how to drive, and we didn’t own a vehicle, so she rode the bus several cities over to go to work each day. All of a sudden me and my siblings were latchkey kids. It wasn’t a situation that worked out well for our family, so thankfully my mother was eventually offered a job at the Head Start program that my baby sister attended. This was a blessing for our little family since it was walking distance and it saved my mother money on childcare.
Regardless, from the time of my parents divorce until the time my mother passed away when I was 12 years old, life was not easy (that’s not to say it got easier after my mother passed away, it just got a different kind of hard). Money was scarce and even though my mother showered us with love and attention, we were kids and we were well aware on the extras we were missing out on by being poor. You name it, we were on it. WIC, food stamps, HUD and goodness knows what else. We couldn’t survive without those government programs. They were our lifeblood. Over time my mother worked her way up and slowly we started to teeter onto our feet again, but those were some tough years. My father and stepmother were having hard financial times as well, so it wasn’t as if my dad wasn’t helping out. It was just a really tough time for our family.
Little Blessings=Canned Cranberry Sauce and Barbie Clothes
You might think that I look back on this time in my life with sadness. However, it’s quite the opposite. Up until I met my husband and started my own family, this period of time in my life was one I reflected on most fondly. You see, we lived in a small New Jersey town at this time. I was not a popular child in my school, in fact I was made fun of relentlessly. The community as a whole was a supportive one though. Neighbors helped neighbors. Churches reached out into the community to see where they could actively make a difference. People, not things, mattered in this small north Jersey town.
Source: stumbleupon.com via Heather on Pinterest
Because of the generous and loving nature of this community, I never went without a feast for Thanksgiving dinner. I never wanted for school supplies or clothing at the start of each school year. It never failed that space below our Christmas tree was non existent and that a fresh Turkey or Ham was delivered to our door for just about every holiday.
It wasn’t just one person, or one church or one neighbor; it was a community. A community that believed that all families had the right to a little extra a few times a year (and actually throughout the year in our case). A community that understood that by lifting up those who were barely scraping by, they were not only increasing their own blessings, but they were also creating memories that would last a lifetime. A community that celebrated prosperity and good times by paying it forward, not by hoarding it for themselves.
I want to thank that little North Jersey town (Wanaque, NJ…I’m talking to you!) for giving me great memories and for enveloping my family in your kindness.
A Challenge to FFF Readers
I also want to send out a call to action to the Family Friendly Frugality community. Today is Halloween. Tomorrow starts the gear up towards Thanksgiving. Of course after that is Christmas.
For the next 60 days, I want the Family Friendly Frugality community to pay forward their blessings. To pay forward your time, your talent, your treasure.
Now trust me, I understand what it’s like to have barely enough to get by on your own. However, if you have been following my blog for any length of time, you know that strategic shopping can practically create another income for your family. Even if you are still barely scraping by AFTER using coupons and stockpiling, you can still make a difference. You can donate your time. Your talent. It doesn’t have to be your treasure if you have none to spare.
Just remember, those baskets that showed up on my doorstep as a little girl weren’t put together by an individual. One person gave a can of cranberry sauce. One person gave Barbie clothes. One person donated a turkey, etc.
It is through COMMUNITY that we can change the world.
It’s through COMMUNITY that we can shine light on someone else’s darkness. Every little bit helps!
This holiday season, I encourage…no. I CHALLENGE you to find ways to help others. I CHALLENGE you to make a difference. Most of all, I want to serve as an adult reminder that the littlest things can make a difference in a child’s life.
What should have probably been the worst time of my life was made wonderful mainly through the kindness of neighbors and strangers.
Throughout the month of November and December, I will be giving away a $50 gift card to Walmart each week. My hope is that it can bless a few families, not just the ones that win. To enter, just leave a comment on this blog post telling me a bit about YOUR story. Or comment on my story, it really matters not. Just make sure your comment means something (and that you leave a valid email address on the comment form so I can contact you if you win!). Each week, I’ll choose a reader and I’ll send out a $50 Walmart gift card their way.
I want to hear from you! Has the kindness of strangers or neighbors profoundly impacted your life? Do you do anything special for others during this time of the year? Tell me your story.
Disclaimer: This giveaway is not sponsored by Walmart or anyone else. It’s MY way of giving a bit of MY treasure to others. I hope it blesses many. This giveaway ends on 12/19. A new gift card will be given away each Monday starting on 11/7.
Good story! I know how it can be to struggle. My parents had their jobs go over seas at the same time that was a rough year. But because people around us loved on us we were able to make it. My husband and I attend community College and our college is having a drive for clothing and household items at the beginning of December. We are already gathering up things to donate so that families in our community can get free stuff.
That’s wonderful. Clothing is something that many people don’t think much about donating. But it really can make a huge difference. I like to say I wore thrift store clothes before it was trendy, LOL.
Wow, first great story! I also received from the kindness of strangers as a child. I remember one Christmas, our stove was broken and my mom and dad were supposed to be having all the family over. They called a local restaurant that we frequented (and had become friendly with most of the staff) and within hours we had a fabulous Christmas dinner on our table. We also received gifts, etc. from our local church (which I did not know until I was an adult and asked my mom to donate the extra turkey she had to the church I belonged to’s Thanksgiving drive). We never went without even when my parents had very little thanks to the kindness of strangers, etc…
That’s wonderful! I wish all children could say they never went without, but sadly that is not the case.
I guess I’m a bitter old lady but I don’t think small town communities like that exist anymore. (Says the DC area refugee)
I’m not sure if they do. I hope they do! But if they don’t…we as a community here on FFF can still make a difference!
Wow thank you for this. I grew up in a little town as well but our town didn’t band together as yours did and my single mom worked hard to put just a couple presents under the tree. When I grew to have my own kids and in turn become a single mom I was having a hard time of it but found a program called blue Christmas and it was the best Christmas my kids had ever had in their short lives. They had the biggest meal they have ever seen and presents under the tree, more than just the clothes I gave them because they needed it and the few little $10 I could scrounge up to afford.
Now that I have finally met my soulmate and because of him I get to stay home with our youngest and he loves my others like his own we contribute every year to the Same Blue Christmas that helped me out 10 years ago. Some years it is not much, hey we are all affected by the economy but no matter what we have we always give something forward whether it is a wrapped gift or a box full of food. One way or another I truly know the difference it will make for another family.
Anyway Thank you so much for your story!!!
Amber Lovell
ajgrrl@hotmail.com
I’ve never heard of Blue Christmas. Is that a local thing? I’d love a link! Amber, I’m so glad you have found the love of your life and that you are able to pay forward the kindness you received! Thank you so much for sharing!
Growing up my family often had very little also. We got shoes two times a year, a few times the whole front of my sneaker had worn away before I got a new pair. Many Christmas’s I remember only getting gifts because my aunts sent a box of gifts or someone in church gave us things. Occasionally bags of groceries would randomly show up. The thing is, while other kids remember going to Disney World, etc. I remember my dad throwing a ball in the backyard and how to make the wooden furniture he sold for extra money, my mom teaching me to sew and cook. My memories are just as fond as other kids and they taught me for a lifetime. I learned htat while the gifts were nice, the people who gave them were even better.
Very true Heather. I remember shoes where my socks shone through as well. Not great memories for kids, but if the love is there, they kind of get overshadowed by the good times, huh?
Last summer I was helping my parents put a new roof on their house. My dad and I were working on it- I was pulling the shingles off and he was loading them into a dumpster. He started having chest pain, which turned out to be a heart attack- he was life flighted from the local hospital to a hospital that was equipped to deal with that. Thank god he ended up being ok but for a while we all panicked because the roof no longer had a roof and my dad couldn’t do it. My parents had already bought all the materials but were unsure if they could afford a roofer. The second day after it happened about 20 people from the community all showed up and finished the roof!
AMAZING! That’s incredible. It is heart warming that communities like that still exist!
BTW, is your dad okay now?
Very touching story! I totally agree with the pay it forward mentality. No matter where we are in life, I always have my boys do things for others this time of year!
I think getting our kids involved is so important! Teach the giving spirit early!
Three years ago, my husband was without a job and had to start over. In a matter of months, our savings were gone, credit card debit went up, bills went unpaid and we were scared. With 4 children, the needs are always there for them whether it is for clothes, shoes, doctor visits, food…..My husband worked hard ( and still does) but starting over is difficult. I belong to local Freecycle groups in my area and had become friends with several ladies. I would have never known these neighbors if it were not for Freecycle. One lady, a very good friend now, knew everything we were going through and how difficult it was for us. One morning I woke up to find my front porch filled with clothes for the kids, food, things for the kids lunches that kids like, laundry soap, etc…..I was in complete shock. I knew exactly who it was. It was MY Freecycle community. They taught me what community was, what a neighbor really was and how blessed we were to have such amazing friends. Things have changed for us fortunately and now every year I make sure to buy food, a turkey or ham, small gift cards for gas for others in my community who are struggling so they can have a holiday meal at home. No names are given , just our gift, our love and our friendship. Three years ago it showed and proved to me that we are not alone, that people do truly care and we should absolutely pay it forward and share with our neighbors……
Gina
oconnor.gina@comcast.net
Okay, you brought tears to my eyes. That’s beautiful Gina. What’s even more beautiful is that you have turned it around and now you are the one doing the giving. What a blessing you are to those around you!
I can remember back on a time when our church did the same for us. It doesn’t seem communities like this exist anymore. It really breaks my heart. As a single parent of 2 children with special needs, I still try to give back as much as I can, and sometimes it doesn’t even seem that is enough. God bless you and your family!
I think they do Crystal, but I do think they are farther and fewer between nowadays!
We relocated after Katrina. We lost everything, and had to start over. Praise to our Lord, my husband still had his job, and got paid throughout the ordeal. We moved almost 300 miles away, but were homeless. We rented a trailer at the fishing “resort” we were staying at, (it was a fishing camp, really), and after a about 6 weeks, my husband went back to work. commuted the 285 miles. He’d stay in a FEMA trailer camp at work, and come home late Friday night, and left Monday morning. My brother organized a clothing/furniture drive for us and the other homeless from Katrina where we went to, and we started to replenish our “stuff” The only things we had were the clothes on our back and in our suitcase. We were underinsured for flood (thanks to our unethical insurance agent), and at that point didn’t know how anything would turn out. We lived like this for almost 2 years (husband commuting) until the FEMA camp was shut down. He had nowhere to live after that, so had to quit. He tried getting a job here (very small town in a very rural parish/county), no jobs. We started a business, and last year started getting an early pension (not full, because he got it early). We pay the bills, but don’t have much money for extras. But God is good, all the time. We love where we are, even amongst the drought (don’t love that, because we can’t continue our large garden), but God is good. He provides our needs!
That is heartbreaking Nancy. I pray that things start to look up for you very soon. Faith is a powerful companion though, so I’m glad you have God by your side.
My husband and I have been living apart since last November/December because he was promoted to a town 3 1/2 hours away. Not extremely far away but enough for him to be away from me and my 3 young kids (6, 4 and 2) for the week and then come home for the weekend. We had just refinanced our home of 5 years (to save $200/month) 3 months before he was promoted. This caused problems in pricing our home for the current market. Then, 2 weeks before he was promoted, I became a laid off teacher. His promotion was a blessing and we were so excited. Unfortunately, the housing market was not in our favor. We have dropped the price of our house by $30,000 and it was just appraised for $15,000 less than what we are asking now despite all of the renovations and additions we made to it in the last 5 years. I am now a full time teacher who can work from home (I teach for a cyber school) and because we now have two incomes, we sought out to see if we could afford 2 mortgages so we could grab a great house in our new town while we continue to try to sell our current house. Back when I was laid off, I began couponing and it has been a blessing! I have a nice stockpile (though it could still be a lot better) that we will be depleating soon when we take on our second mortgage. Couponing has cut our overall shopping bill down by 50-60%. We are extremely close to having our loan go through and really hope to be together in one house for Thanksgiving. It’s the amount of time that we will have 2 mortgages that scares us because the stockpile won’t last more than 3 months. In the meantime, I have been donating some of my groceries to local shelters. It’s the least I could do since I can’t volunteer anywhere because I constantly am with my kids and they are too little to take with me to help. I donate my expired coupons to overseas military and every Sunday morning, people (about 2-3 each week) look foward to me showing up at our local gas station to discuss what coupons are in this week’s papers and how many papers they can buy. I try to tell them everything I can because it’s the least I can do at this point. I cannot wait to move to our new town to find some other places I can go to help others. It’s a larger city with even more people in worse situations than I am in. I’m very thankful that we even have the opportunity to take on a second mortgage but at the same time, it is the scariest thing in our lives right now. It will definitely be worth it though, to have our family back together after a whole year.
I love that you are paying your knowledge forward. That’s SUCH a powerful thing. Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he’ll eat for a lifetime. I pray that the 2nd mortgage comes through, but that you can sell the 1st house quickly as well!
Families shouldn’t have to live apart like that, and yet you hear about it far too often with the way the economy is nowadays. ((hugs))
I’m so sorry you went through this! I do have a story about paying it forward though…
My parents, like yours, divorced when I was young, I believe I was 8. Originally, I lived with my mother, but as time went on, her boyfriends (each with their own….issues) came and went, and arguments occurred on a daily basis between she and I. Eventually, I moved in with my Dad, about 20-25 minutes away. Because of the divorce, Dad’s credit was shot, and his 50-hour-a-week-job didn’t pay anywhere near enough to support himself, let alone me as well, but he did everything he could. He took as many odd jobs as he could (remodeling, mechanic work, etc), but it still wasn’t making ends meet. We re-wore clothes so we didn’t have to buy laundry detergent as often, and never bought new school supplies – my pens and pencils were taken from his job, I didn’t carry a bookbag, and I borrowed paper from my extremely understanding best friends. Sometime during all of this, my mother took my brother and sister and moved from NY, where we lived, to Las Vegas, so we couldn’t really ask her for help, not that she was able to anyway.
In my junior year of high school, money was even more tight than normal for some reason, but we somehow were managing to stay afloat. I, in my quest to be a pre-school teacher, was taking as many child-related courses at my high school as possible. One of them, Child and Human Development, was taught by this amazing teacher, I’ll call her Mrs. N.
I never told Mrs. N. what was going on at home, but she must have found out some way. When I was having a hard time in Math, and wasn’t going to pass (which would have stopped me from getting the Advanced diploma I so desperately wanted), she told me she had her daughter’s old review book still, and asked if I wanted it. I, of course, said yes. The next day, when she brought it in, I took it home and thumbed through it. Inside, I found the Borders receipt from when it had been bought – the day before. Her daughter, at the time, was in her early-thirties, with no reason for a 11th grade math review book.
That’s just one example of the things Mrs. N. did for me. I’m forever grateful for her, as she became my stand-in mother when my own did nothing for me, she taught me and helped shape me into the woman I am today. I spent more time in her classroom (during my study halls and lunch periods) in my last 2 years of school than I did anywhere else in that school my whole 4 years there.
Everything I’ve learned from her, I’ve tried to apply to my day-to-day living. This year for Christmas, money is tight for my fiancee and I, and instead of buying each other gifts, we “adopted” a local family with two small children, who are in sort of the same situation I was when I was younger. I’m looking forward to giving them the Christmas they wouldn’t have otherwise.
Oh boy. I love Mrs. N. She knew pride would keep you from allowing her to purchase the book, but that a used one would be no big deal. Bless her…I bet she did that for many children over the years.
Thank you so much for sharing that story. I know I had many teachers that helped my family out in little ways and I can never repay their kindnesses.
Exactly. Had I known she was planning on buying me a brand new book, I would have turned it down, they were like $30-$40. She was probably the best teacher I ever had, our school didn’t have many teachers like her.
My sister (who has since moved out of my mother’s and in with my Dad) actually has her as a teacher right now. And since my sister and I were never in the same school at the same time, Mrs. N. didn’t make the connection until a couple weeks ago when my sister told a kid off for giving Mrs N. a hard time. After class, Mrs. N called my sister up to her desk and quietly asked “are you Danie’s younger sister?” My sister nodded, and Mrs. N. jumped up and gave her a hug and asked how I was doing. It made me feel good that I graduated in 2008 and she still wonders about me.
I am a stay-home mom to a two year old girl and a 2 month old boy. This story is heartening as we don’t have very much money and I have been worried so much about giving them a good Christmas. I live in a small town in Iowa, but not your type of town, however I feel encouraged that my beautiful children will enjoy what they do get because it comes from love and not just because we can buy up a toy store. I just really wanted to say thank you for sharing, and I hope more people take the time to pass on your message as there are so many people and families in need of so many, many things all over.
Be sure to check out what programs your local government and churches have to offer. I know we received baskets from The Salvation Army, several local churches, the schools we attended and just kind members of the community. I pray you and your little ones will have a wonderful Christmas! Love is really all that matters at the end of the day!
Your story immediately touched me because I can relate. My family was low income when I was a child, but I barely noticed. All I knew is that my mom tried her hardest to give my sister and I a comfortable life, she was the bread winner of the family. I would say the first 10 years of my life we struggled financially, but the longer she stayed in her career, the more she moved up in the company. She was truly a strong and independent woman. At 23 years old I fully appreciate the life she gave me. Unfortunately, when she was 35 she was diagnosed with breast cancer and fought with tremendous courage for 7 years until she passed away in 2010 at 42. I remember how supportive our friends and community were during her diagnosis and treatments. Also my mother’s company and coworkers. She was able to retire at 38 and receive long term disability which was a blessing during chemo and radiation. There were so many families that made dinners for us not only during the holidays, but during other times also, so that she would not have to worry about cooking. I will always remember their kindness. Now that I am older I enjoy donating food, even if i’m a bit broke at the time. Thank you for sharing your story with us!
Megan Nolan
mnolan87@msn.com
I’m so glad that your community came around your mom and helped her during that period in her life and I am so very sorry for your loss 🙁
I loved your story. Caring people are still out there. My passion is children in our country who go hungry every day; there’s just no reason for it in a country as wealthy as America. If you pick my comment, I will take the $50 Wal-Mart gift card and donate it or purchase items towards feeding children or a local food bank. I will be more than happy to let you know where it went to and send a receipt. So many children go hungry and $50 will go a long way in a food bank.
I totally agree: “there’s just no reason for it in a country as wealthy as America.” It’s heart breaking, isn’t it? I can honestly say I’ve never known hunger due to financial circumstances. I know that’s not the case for MANY children though. It breaks my heart.
We were considered “poor” in the circles we ran. My dad worked full-time and my mother was a stay-at-home-mom. My parents decided they wanted my brother, sister & I to go to private school. So most of our money went to that. I suppose if we had gone to public school we may have been better off financially. But I don’t know if I would be the person I am today if that had happened. Money is not of huge importance to me. Yes, we need it to live on but as long as I have bills paid, food on the table and a place to live, I am pretty content. I don’t need all the latest and greatest to be happy.
We never really needed for anything growing up, but we certainly couldn’t “keep up with the Jones'” among our school friends. It was really tough not being able to go on school trips because we couldn’t afford it or having anything exciting and fun to tell about summer vacation like the other kids. And we always had back-of-the-lot cheap cars. My dad loved Christmas and buying us gifts so he used his Christmas bonus to buy a real tree and fill it underneath with gifts for us.
Although times were tough and I had my fair share of difficulties with schoolmates who thought it was fun to pick on the “poor” kid, I think I’m a better person for it. I have learned to teach my kids what’s important and that doing for others is what really matters. I always try to pick up a little extra when I go grocery shopping to donate to our church food pantry and we help with Thanksgiving food baskets at church and through my daughter’s girl scout troop. My 13 year old daughter goes up to the church every Saturday morning (even though she’d much rather sleep in!) to help pack groceries, carry them to their cars or anything else they need done. I help at my son’s school with kids who are behind in reading (a different kind of giving than what you talked about). We try to teach our children that we don’t always have to have something material to give (especially since we don’t always have money to do it) and that sometimes it’s our time and effort that are most needed.
ljatwood at gmail dot com
“We try to teach our children that we don’t always have to have something material to give (especially since we don’t always have money to do it) and that sometimes it’s our time and effort that are most needed.” that is a GREAT lesson to teach your children. It sounds like we had somewhat similar upbringings financially. I also think that the struggles I went through as a kid made me a better person today.
I have always given a toy at work or passed on old toys/clotes to the bin, but it wasnt until the recent floods in Oakland NJ that I really saw how a community can pull together and help one another. I donated meals, time and supplies, and I really felt that I was helping. Pushing a bag of clothes in a bin does not really make you feel like you are helping anyone.
It doesn’t make you feel that way, but it does help! I know what you mean though. Actively being there and knowing exactly what you are working towards helping really does make you feel like you are making a difference (and you are!). I didn’t know Oakland got hit hard. I knew Wayne did though.
I remember the 1st year as a single mom of 3- times were tough, but there was always a way to help someone less fortunate. I would offer rides to the elderly or share holiday dinners with an unfortunate neighbor, and this became a gift to myself, because the more I did, the more my children learned and they have grown up to be caring individuals and for that I am grateful for all the chances I had to give.
So true. It’s what our kids SEE us do that they learn from, not what we tell them to do. Good for you for being a great example to your children!
I believe in sharing what we have all year long, not only at the holidays. I know that when people recieve the extra thoughtful baskets and groceries at holidays it definately helps out. And that is awesome! I have friends and family who are not always in the best of situations money-wise, so I try to help them when I can. I am not well-to-do, but I share coupons, home canned foods and things I get good deals on and buy extra of. I make big batches of dinner and share leftovers. And sometimes I just share hope and encouragement. I always make sure that my son’s out-grown clothes go to a family who needs them. I think if more people helped each other out, this world could become a wonderful place (all year long!!!). If I win one of the giftcards, I know exactly what I would do with it. Right now, I have a wonderful friend who is a single mother with two children. She recently lost one of her two jobs and is only left with a part-time job that barely pays more than minimum wage. She could definately use the giftcard, espcecially at this time of year!
One of my fondest memories growing up was actually a year we were able to help another family. I consider myself to be very fortunate, both of my parents had wonderful jobs and although every want was not filled(thankfully), they always made sure needs were provided and then some! One year, just before Christmas, my mom and I were in line checking out at the grocery store. A women with her mother and two small children were ahead of us in line. When it came time to pay they were short of funds and ended up having to put back the children’s raisins(obviously a special treat). My mom tried to pay for them, although the woman was incredibly thankful, she was too proud and wouldn’t except. Somehow my mom was able to get their grandmother aside and talked to her for a few minutes about getting there information. Then on Christmas eve we showed up to their little house with presents for the kids and all the groceries for Christmas dinner, including raisins.. = ) The woman had taken the children to Christmas eve service at church, but her husband was there finishing decorating. He had no idea who we were and as we filled that empty spot under the tree we told him the name tags were blank and they could just address them from Mom and Dad. He cried and hugged us when we left. Looking back, that Christmas has been the best one I’ve every had. Now that I have a family of my own, I am reminded of that. Even though money is tight these days, as I’m sure it is for most people, I hope I can give my son those same memories and teach him the true sport of christmas through giving..
My husband and I have a collective family of 7 children and making by any time of the year is hard and even worse during the holiday season. My children have been lucky enough to receive items from angel type programs and the school nominated them for a school clothing program one year where they were allowed to go and shop at Kohls for Winter clothing. We always appreciate the help that our family has received and I think that it is important for people to remember that people have needs all year round. With so many people out of work the holidays may be very hard on a lot of families. A child that may wake up to nothing Christmas morning really appreciates even a $2 toy and the parents appreciate it even more than the children do. I know that I have always seen these gifts as a bigger gift to me than they could ever be to my children because i was able to see them laugh and smile. If a parent has never been in a position of not being able to give to their babies then they cannot understand the pain that it causes. We still struggle a lot and have to have a helping hand but my babies will be right there pooling their allowance to put in a toy in the Toys for Tots box this year to make a child and a parent smile.
I love your website. It is wonderful to be able to locate less expensive ways to talke care of my daughter since we were forced to leave our home in Virginia because of an abusive father. I am so happy to be here in Alabama taking care of my mother. She is 88 and has Alzehimers. @>—–>——
Your story brought tears to my eyes. One day my husband left for work, and he didn’t come home. I had a 3 month old, a 2yr old, a 4.5yr old and a 6yr old. I hadn’t worked in years, no college background, you get the idea. To make matters worse, when I checked the bank he’d also cleaned it out to the tune of being $50 over-drawn and had taken our only vehicle. To say the least, it was a hard devestating time. I belonged to a parenting board online and posted what had just happened because I truely needed the emotional support. I told them that if I was missing for awhile it was because I’d lost my phone and internet because I couldn’t pay the electric bill that was overdue. I received a private message from a woman begging me to swollow my pride and allow her to pay my bill. I did. That woman, after having my house address from calling and paying my bill passed it on to others in our group. Imagine my surprise when I went to get the mail about a week later and found package after package. I had $600 in pre-paid Visa cards. I had a gift certificate to Kroger for $250 (they knew I didn’t have any money to buy any food..and had NO clue about coupons back then to have a stockpile). I had a box with diapers, wipes and formula. I had cards telling me what a great mom I was and how strong I was. They even sent me a $100 gift card to a spa because they said that “I” deserved some pampering and a little down time. I will never, ever forget the generousity of these women. I still belong to this group today, and have life-long friends. Every year I put out a challange to my family and friends to try and donate at least one bag of food to their local food pantry, the 2nd week of November. My daughter also volunteer’s every year at Christmas time at our food pantry, helping to pass out the food for their Christmas baskets. My kids know what we went through, and know that because of the kindness of strangers (just internet friends, didn’t know one single person, IRL) that a bad situation was made better and they didn’t go without food or electric.
I have a similar story, minus the divorce and minus the supportive community. My mom actually had to be hospitalized for malnourishment at one point because there simply wasn’t enough food to go around and she made sure the kids ate first. No one ever helped us, not a simgle person. In fact the church gave us a hard time for not contributing to holiday baskets for the poor. We were the poor, and we never got a basket! Anyway, today is my tenth anniversary, and my husband got laid off this morning. It was a huge surprise, we had no idea it was coming. But for some reason I’m just not worried. We do now have that community that was never there when I was a child. Thanks to you and other blogs like yours I have almost all of my Christmas shopping done, as well as a good stockpile of food laid by. I know God will provide, I know my husband will find employment soon, and as I look around I’m amazed at how good I have it. My church works closely with the neighboring Navajo pueblos outside our city to provide gifts for the children there, and if I won one of your cards that’s what I would use it for. 🙂
My Mother was a latchkey kid and through God’s blessings she was able to be a stay at home Mom for me and my brothers. Because of what she’d went through coming home to an empty house she didn’t want her kids to go through that. I fondly remember her being there. Now as a Mom myself I want to be there for my kids too. It is really tough right now with my husband facing his second Christmas unemployed but by living frugally we are still making ends meet.
I know many that can relate to your story and thankfully are in a better place today as well… including me. I too was a single mom (age 21). I gave birth to an amazing son who ended up with many disabilities, very sick and to this day still is disabled. His father abandoned us from day one and it was all on me. The first years were very tough since I couldn’t work and had to rely on government assistance. Once the doctors gave the OK, I went back to work. My son and I were the only 2 until I met my Husband when my son turned 8. He was a blessing.! Took my son in as his own and got involved from day one. Today, my son is 15 and alive (considering he was given less than 10% chance to survive), doing as well as can be. I’ve been with my Husband for 7 years, 3 of them married and have another son, age 5. Currently neither one of us is employed so winning this gift card not only would be wonderful but helpful in buying Christmas gifts. I also have a sister that is in much need right now since she too is unemployed and has 2 little girls and I would either split this with her or give it 100% to her so my nieces could have a nice Christmas as well. Thank you for sharing your story with us and I wish you and your family a great holiday!
sbeshiri@msn.com
Thank you for your openness. I know that must have been a hard decision to make: to be so open about a rough time in your life. My husband and I are in our toughest financial position yet. We moved to Virginia from Iowa to return to my husband’s roots. My husband found a good job, and they paid him the same as our old job. However, we have more expenses taken out of his paycheck, and on top of that, we still have our house in Iowa. It has not sold yet. We are blessed to have family members sharing their house with us, so we are sharing one room with our 10 month old son. Unfortunately, we are 60 miles from my husband’s job. We spend about $400/month in gas, which leaves us about $100 for food. My husband and son have a lot of allergies and require specific food. For example, my son requires homemade formula and just one of the ingredients is goat milk. He goes through $5 of goat milk a day. That is actually one of the cheaper ingredients. We know that this tough financial time will be not last, and we are looking forward to small milestones. I am blessed though, because even though we are having monetary problems, instead of causing a rift between my husband and I, it has brought us closer than ever.
Your story is inspiring to me. We won’t be in our rift forever, and because of that, I want to have the opportunity to help other’s out of their hard times faster.
Thanks for sharing your story. My parents divorced when I was 13. It was a tough time. My older sister and I lived with my dad which was unusual in the 70’s. He was on call in the oil business so my sister and I ran the household. I joined Rotary 10 years ago and we have several service projects we do in the community every year. It makes a person feel great to know you make a difference.
I feel like my whole life has been a struggle just to keep from drownding. Like you In no way do I want a pitty party. My parents fought daily, in front of us kids most of the time. I saw my Dad beat my Mom so bad one time she is now deaf in one ear. Why my Mom stayed I don’t know. I am the oldest of 4 kids and I had a lot if reaponsibly at a very young age. So young I don’t remember when I started doing so much. I know I basicly raised my siblings. When I was 12 I finally told someone my father was molesting me. I don’t remember how long he was doing that cause I have blocked it out. After my parents were divorced my mom got us on Welfare abd wic and some kind of food program. We struggled with money when my parents were together but after it was so much worse. We lived in a small community and my Mom told everyone what my father did. She was looking for the pitty and it also invited more help. I am very gratefull that we got the help we needed. I just wish it wasn’t at my expense. Then at 16 I fell in love with my Husband. I really feel like he saved my life. We had our daughter when I was almost 18. Things were good for a while we are happy. Well in 2009 my husband was laid off. He has had back problems his whole life and while working made it worse. When he was not working not working his back went out. It is so bad he had to have surgery. He can no longer work and we are struggling on welfare. Thank God for my in laws and friends, they have helped us so much.
Thank you so much for this give away! If I win I will be able to get my daughter some clothes for Christmas.
Lulurice79@gmail.com
Wow, I’m so glad your community came together to support one another.
Thank you for sharing this part of your life with your readers!!
The stories of both myself and my husband are similar to yours… we were both raised in the projects, both brought up on foodstamps, used “food cards” to get lunches at school, received aid from various charities and government organizations and there was many a childhood Christmas when the items under the tree for myself and my sister would have been nonexistent had it not been for the blessed kindness of strangers.
My husband and I were both also the kids that were picked on… the poor kids. I distinctly remember A.H. {the rich girl with the long blonde hair} calling me a “ragamuffin” in kindergarten – KINDERGARTEN! I’m 33 years old now and I remember that like it was yesterday. Thanks for that memory A.H.
How our history of growing up poor has affected us as adults is actually in quite a wonderful way… as adults, my husband and I live frugally, by choice. We choose not to have a big home, to not drive fancy, expensive cars and to not work 80 hours per week to bring home fat paychecks. Instead, we choose to work less hours and spend more time together as a family. We don’t feel shameful about shopping at thrift stores, using coupons or even dumpster diving! We are happy with ourselves and with our “stuff”… we spend more on books per year than we do on new clothes! And we LOVE it!
We also choose to spend our “extra” money helping others… animals to be exact. In addition to adopting three rescue dachshunds, we participate in fundraising efforts, walks, sales… you name it!… to help raise money for our local Humane Society and DARE – Dachshund Adoption Rescue and Education, a dachshund rescue based in Tampa, Florida as well as other local and national animal rights and rescue organizations.
I have no regrets about the way I was raised, and I am not ashamed of being poor then or now. I know what it’s like to go hungry, I know what it’s like to be homeless and I know what it’s like to go home after school and just sit in my room and cry all night because of the merciless teasing I received that day… but you know what? That’s okay but I like me now.
🙂
Peach
www. idratherbebarefoot.com
barefootpeach@gmail.com
Thank you for sharing your story.
When my husband was in school working towards his degree, we had three babes at home 3 and under and I was a SAHM. It wasn’t an easy time, but it was a good a good time. I wouldn’t see my husbad for more than a couple hours a day, money was very tight. One Christmas when we really didn’t have allot we were not only bless with one hamper but two. Two different groups saw our need and just blessed us. We didn’t ask or apply, someone took notice of us. That is what makes me feel the difference, it just took one person start this for us.
loriagalbraith at gmail dot com
I too can relate! Although life financially was already a struggle for our little family of four, it became a nightmare for many reasons after the untimely death of my father. No matter how many government programs we qualified for, we simply couldn’t survive on my mom’s two paychecks and had very little community in the large Southern California suburb we were living in. If we were to make any sort of life, it meant that we needed to move back to our roots, to Montana where my mother and father were born and raised. We moved in with aunt and uncle who generously offered us not just a place to stay, but a home that would allow us as much time as we needed to rebuild our broken lives. When we did move out on our own, several friends and family took us shopping for things others take for granted, but we were without, such as sheets, thrift shop furniture, clothes, food, etc. I know this transition was especially difficult on my mom, who had just lost the love of her life, the father of her two small children, and had to get over her proud nature and accept help from the distant friends and in-laws she did not know well, so my brother and I tried our best to never complain about our struggles as we wanted to make it as easy on her as possible.
Soon summer was over and it was time to start school. We didn’t know anyone and it was one of those towns small enough so that the elementary school was full of kids who had no only known each other since kindergarten, but since they shared a hospital nursery at birth. We were outsiders, different in every way – from the way we dressed (couldn’t afford the name brands popular at the time), the line we had to go through at lunch (free lunch kids had to use a separate line), to our home lives. I was even taller than the tallest boy in class, AND, I had red hair and freckles and chubby. I was made fun of relentlessly and kept to myself to avoid further scrutiny. I felt like life as I’d known, any semblance of normalcy, had died with my father.
Then the first holiday season came about, which is always a struggle when you’re without one of the key figures in your life who really made holidays special. My mom didn’t have any spare money, and I remember vividly telling my mom that I didn’t want to celebrate Christmas since Christmas was for kids and I was not a little kid anymore, thinking it would take some of the pressure off of her. She just cried and thanked me for what I was trying to do, but told me that if nothing else, we’d hopefully be able to discover the true meaning of Christmas that year. I didn’t understand it at the moment, but soon would.
A week before Christmas, my mom received an anonymous letter saying she’d won a contest (though no details were given) and found enclosed within the envelope, $100.00. She cried knowing how much better that $100.00 could make our lives. Over the next few days, we also had little gifts left at our door here and there, and upon opening them Christmas day, discovered we’d been given new clothes, little bits of money, some toys, books, and so on. On Christmas morning we had a turkey with all of the fixins (great because my aunt and uncle had left to be with other family over the holidays), and had Christmas stockings overflowing with fun items. For the next four years while my mom struggled to get back on her feet and get a college education, we were always more than taken care of during the holiday season and then some, and every Christmas my mom had won yet another “contest”. I want to cry thinking back on those years, but not tears of heartache; no, tears of joy and gratitude for the generosity of others.
Life continued to be a bit of struggle, but it did get better, and I learned valuable life lessons that I would have otherwise likely overlooked if it were not for that time of struggle transition in my life. Since then, I have become a very positive person who realizes that as long as you have the ones you love most with you, none of that other stuff matters. My husband still struggle at times, but regardless of what we have going on in our life, we always seem to have just enough and are mysteriously provided with whatever it is we may be missing. Since having my daughter two years ago, I have made it a goal to teach her what’s truly important in life, and look forward to making it an annual tradition to help in one really great cause each holiday season so she too can rejoice in the wonderful feeling of helping others while also focusing on what she does have rather than what she doesn’t. I am truly grateful for my wonderful life, and thankful for the past and path that lead me here.
I believe those of us who grew up poor make the best people around! We are happy with what we have, and can make the most of anything!
You have an incredibly positive attitude about your family’s struggles. I too have had past (and present) struggles, but somehow we always came through it. We give back whenever we are able – one of the best and most cost-effective ways to help a little now is to give coupons we won’t/can’t use to those who can – both by leaving coupons by the products they’re for on the store shelves and by putting together a weekly envelope for a customer service rep at the grocery store we shop weekly at – she has 11 children, so I’m glad we are able to help a bit (the toy/game coupons available lately have been especially great for her!). It really does feel wonderful to help others 🙂
My husband and I don’t have much money (economy, job loss, underwater on mortgage, etc.) like many other people, but since I’ve been couponing over the past year, every other week I gather items in my pantry and personal care stash and drop a bag or two off at the local food bank, and this week we have a big box and a couple of bags of personal care products to donate to the local senior citizen center. If not for couponing, we definitely wouldn’t be able to help out others like we have, and who knows, next week we could need help. I’d love to be able to take that $50 and see how far I could stretch it and help our local food bank even more!
Good job, I just began couponingnand
Haven’t been able to get extra things
We Are not using. Eventually, I hope to be like you and be able to gift extras!
Well I want to say That right now is probably the most difficult time in my life. I am pregnant with baby #3 due in December and My husband was in a recent motorcycle accident and is lucky to be alive. He wasn’t wearing a helmet either. He can’t walk or work for three months so we have been scraping by the last 4 months cause He lost his job a month prior to the accident. 2 weeks ago we recently found out that my dads terminal lung cancer has spread to his brain and that the “trial” drugs ended up not helping either the brain nor lungs. He has gone downhill drastically in the last few weeks. He has about 60lbs he is no down to 130. They put him on the hardest form of chemo (his choice) hoping it would work but he is having major side affects, sores in the mouth, extreme weakness and fatique, he has a oxygen tank and nebulizer at home now and the nurse said we need to look into at home nursing, he should not be left alone and she said since he has gone down hill so fast he probably doesn’t have much time left. I am having such a hard time accepting this because I am not able to spend the time I want to with him because of my husbands situation and I never imagined my father dying at such a young age. I’m 30 and he is 63. I always imagined him being around to see my kids grow up and be there for special events. I know life doesn’t always work out the way you expect especially with your situation. You have been through so much and seem so strong. I hope this time in my life can help me to grow and learn and appreciate the time I have with people and love everyone for who they are and forgive and forget. Thanks so much for the chance! Amy
Wow you sound like me when I was growing up! My parents were divorced. My mother worked and went to college, we shopped at goodwill and salvation army, had food stamps and other programs. My father didn’t pay child support until I was over 18 years old that was 13 years of fighting and court dates etc. It was hard but through it all my brother and I didn’t realize we were poor, we were loved and brought up that we were appreciative of the things we got, clothes, birthday and Christmas gifts, and pets. Now that we are older I have a more frugal attitude and making due with what we have where my brother is hog wild about things, expensive things. Interesting huh? I think it’s wonderful to help out others or organizations with time or outgrown clothes, I however HATE the people who live off the system. My mom raised us, cooked from scratch, worked a job or two and got a teacher Degree all while on the system. It use to be a hand up not a life style and while I feel sorry for people who are truly living on hard times, all I see are too many of them driving a expensive brand new car, or shopping for bags of clothing at the mall. And in my heart
It is hard to donate to organizations because I wonder, are these
People really bad off or just working the system. I also think “how lazy of them, if my mom can do it on her own with no family to help (all in about 4 years) and get off the system then there Is no excuse
For those out there now! I know of people bad off who are not using the system and those are
The people who really need the help, the ones who work multiple jobs, buy basic food and cook, live
With family members in a small house, those are
The ones who need the extra gifts at the door, delivered by Santa ;)..
We are a one income family of 4. We pretty much live paycheck to paycheck because when the economy took a dive in 2008 and my husband was only working a coupole of days a week, it deleted any savings that we had. Thankfully we have family that helped with our kids needs. While we are still basically paycheck to paycheck, because of coupons and deals I can donate to the local food bank and homeless shelter. And when we see a tragedy such as a house fire where kids loose there things, my kids will go and find thier stuff to donate so the kids can have some toys.
I am originally from New Jersey and I will agree that 30 years or so ago it was like that, but over time people have changed and it seems to me that most people there are only concerned for themselves. Even my son at age 9 was beginning to see that. We moved to Kenucky 4 years ago, our town is filled with friendly people that will help when needed, like it was in New Jersey when I was a kid.
So, while we may not have a lot of material things, my kids appreiciate what they do have, are thankful for what they get and have learned valuable life lessons because everything was not handed to them just because they wanted it. And we appreciate the value of hard work and the little things in life that God has given us.
i really dont even know where to start, but your story gives me hope. my husband of 14 yrs walked out on us oct 1 2011. my whole world has been turned upside down, im scared, and im very sad. i had no idea this was coming, he hadnt said a word. i am disabled, waiting on ssi, and have no income. i am not able to work, but i am hoping the disability will come in soon, that will at least pay rent. everything has been so hard, but i have a lot of good friends and supportive family, and i wouldnt have made it this far without them. before this happened, i had been saving 20$ here and there for christmas, we dont have credit cards and never have, so we always pay for things with cash. i had saved a couple hundred, thats gone now, spent on groceries, and gas. we started counseling i am hoping he will want to work it out, but he says he hasnt decided yet. right now i go between anger and depression. i know i cant make it just on my disability, but with a little help we can. i have always donated to food shelters, volunteered at events, and drives, and given when we had the money. i know this story is one that happens everyday, but i guess its different when it happens to you.
i dont even think i answered the question, sorry. im very scattered at this point. i have to say one of my friends at a local blog gave my daughter and i a box of food, i picked it up this past saterday, i was so happy i ccried. i have made sure brigid has eaten, but i have lost 24 lbs since this happened. (believe me it wont hurt for me to lose a bit more) but im worried, and scared about thanksgiving and christmas. i dont remember ever having to worry about where our meals were going to come from, and now i am. how will i buy winter clothes, how will i pay for groceries now that the money is gone? how do we have a “normal” christmas?? i want so much to keep things normal for her. i know my famly and friends will help me as much as they can, but we are all struggling. its a very scary time.
Reading your story has brought back many memories that I have as a child. At age 10, after 25 years of marraige, my parents divorced. My brother and sister, age 6, myself, age 10 and my mother, moved from the only home we ever knew. Not only did we move from our home, but we moved to a new state. Times definitely were hard. My mom did not have much work experience and her first job in our new home was KMart as well. Barely making enough to pay rent. My father and his new wife were living quite comforatbly and never had a second thought of my siblings and I going without. We ate at the soup kitchen, wore clothes till they could not be worn again and scraped to get new pencils for school.
My mother was a loving and kind woman. I remember times where the pastor of our church showed up at our door with several bags of groceries. We all cried. It was better than Christmas. At Thanksgiving we would get a basket filled with all the things Thanksgiving and we would all go through it together, excited to see the cranberry sauce. I understand the importance of community help. A small can of cranberry sauce excited us for days.
My current church, filled with wonderful and giving people of about 45, put together Thanksgiving baskets each year. Last year we delivered 23 of them and each year we strive to deliver more. The joy on the faces of each person we deliver to is one that resonates in my mind often. I so enjoy giving to those that do not have, not that I have much myself.
One very important thing I learned from my mom growing up was, we may not have much, but we are willing to share with whoever is in need. She may have had only enough money to buy ingredients to make a pot of spaghetti, but we always had someone over to eat with us that didn’t have any food.
This year, Thanksgiving day will be the 1 year anniversary of my mother’s death. I want to do something to honor her. I think giving food to those in need will be something she woudl be very excited about.
Thanks for sharing your story and allowing us to share part of ours. I pray this encourages others to reach out to those around them that are in need.
God Bless you and all you do.
The hardest thing I’m dealing with right now is convincing myself & my kids that we WILL get through this, and we’re better off than most people right about now. My husband owns his own business, and in July, he had to shut down. We’ve been eeking through ever since, and things are finally starting to pick back up – he was able to reopen his doors, so to speak. We have always lived paycheck to paycheck, even when his company was doing well, because it was important to my husband and I to give our 4 children the material items they wanted … keeping up with the Joneses … and we see now how wrong we were. We finally gave up the fight. When our income was cut back to where we can barely pay the utilities, luxuries go out the window and you learn to focus on what you have, not what you don’t have. I somehow manage to put together a meal every night, that we sit down to eat together. The hand-me-down clothes from the neighbors are greatly appreciated now, instead of donated to charity because they weren’t the brands that the cool kids are wearing. Couponing has become a source of income, and everyone in the family helps out.
Reading your post reminded me of how poor my family was while I was growing up. Every night at dinner, my mom skipped eating her portion of meat so that there would be enough to pack in my dad’s lunch the next day. She knew he needed the extra protein, since he had such a physical job in construction. It makes me cry, thinking about how much my mom sacrificed for my sister and I, and how she made sure that we never knew how bad our money situation truly was. I remember having so much fun with friends, and spending every holiday with family. I cherished the hand-me-down clothes from my cousins because I felt that much more cared for, wearing something that my loving cousin wore and outgrew. Thank you for posting what you did. Sometimes, I just need a little reminder to kick me in the butt.
kaseejohnson@verizon.net
I never knew we were poor when I was growing up. We grew up frugally and its been the way I’ve carried on, even into my marriage, which is now more than 35 years. And both my husband and I have always been public servants. When there was no emergency medical service where we lived in SC, he began one, went back to school and got his EMT and then Paramedic license. Our lives were filled with regular jobs and then volunteering at South Berkeley EMS. When we retired to Florida, we thought we’d enjoy our quiet life except we both now volunteer for the sheriff’s department mounted posse, the local library and two other non-profits. My point here is not to say, “we were poor’ or “we volunteered.” My point is that if giving of yourself becomes a habit, or a welcome way of life, it adds such value with so little expense. It isn’t what we do, it is who we are. For Thanksgiving this year, we’ll be giving thanks that we are able, healthy and together. We work hard to keep it together and we know how many in our area are also struggling and so we will continue with our holiday surprises ~ we secretly leave treats, flowers or larder fillers for folks in our neighborhood who we know are struggling but don’t qualify for assistance. I know there are others who have bigger problems or larger issues to deal with, but these are folks who just need a little ‘positive’ in their lives in order to make it through the next day, or week, or month and I don’t want them to be forgotten. Tradavis@embarqmail.com
This is wonderful that you’re doing this. My family is doing fine financially, but I’d like to be able to help other families in need. I enter a lot of giveaways and I often give away my winnings as gifts to my sons’ teachers or at Christmastime to families who couldn’t otherwise afford gifts for their children. It’s such a great feeling to pay it forward.
I just found your website and am really enjoying reading it. I am a 3rd grade teacher in a small, rural town in central Virginia. Many of our kids come from low SES families and the Christmas “Angel” Tree at the school is filled with names of kids who won’t otherwise get anything for Christmas (clothes, toys, etc.). As a teacher, I often find myself providing for the kids both at Christmas, and regularly throughout the year. I have kids who come to school who haven’t eaten since lunch the day before, kids who don’t ever have a snack, kids who don’t have ounchboxes, socks, shoes, winter coats, kids who don’t have books at home to be able to do their reading homework. Teachers spend large parts of our measly paychecks to buy necessities for the kids we love and care for each day. $50 may not be much to many people, but it could buy a lot of things that can make a huge difference in a child’s life. Thanks again for such a wonderful blog- I am looking forward to learning more from you!
I can relate to many of these stories shared here. I grow up in a third world country and my father passed away when I was only 4 years. Frugality was the norm in our family, and having something extra was a luxury. When I got married and came to this wonderful country 45 years ago, I was already accustomed to share and to appreciate anything. I teached my children to be appreciative and not to be wasteful. Also I think I installed on them the compassion for others less fortunated than us, and I think today they are proud parents living by those principles. At the present with the current economic situation, I am trying to give away all those things that I don’t need so others can benefit from it. I hope the coming holidays will encourage others to help and volunteer. There are many people suffering at this moment, and we need to reach a hand to our communities. Thank you for allowing me to share with my comments.
Hello! I read your post and I thought, “How Timely!” This year I asked my boss where I work if we could sponsor a family for Christmas. It is not funded by the organization but purely staff donations. I’m so excited!!!! I can’t wait to go shopping and make a difference. I have some stuff already but need lots more. I’m hoping for a two kids and two parents. I won’t find out details until about Nov. 15. I can hardly wait. We are supposed to give the parents taxable items as gifts like soap, toilet paper and toothpaste. Wish me luck! Take care and have a great Christmas! kristiedonelson(at)gmail(dot)com Thank you.
One of my local grocery stores gives me points for every purchase and these points can be redeemed for merchandise in the store or through a catalog. I make sure I use all my son’s WIC vouchers there and shop there as much as possible according to the sales so I can rack up these points so come Thanksgiving I can cash them in for free turkeys. I then give away these turkeys to those who are in need. I do this because when my husband and I moved here to help his mom we had no income. Two Saturdays before Thanksgiving members from a local church (right around the corner) came and dropped off a Bible and some tracts. I said I was going to go to church the next day, but was too lazy to get out of bed. The following Saturday, the Saturday before Thanksgiving, the foodstamps application still had not been approved and I was wondering how I was going to fix Thanksgiving dinner for my husband and MIL. I was taking a nap when the same church came knocking on the door and left a turkey with my husband. He came in to tell me what happened and I was amazed. I did get my behind out of bed and went to church the next day and have been going ever since. The people in the ministry back then pooled their points to give away free turkeys to people in the community and now I feel the desire to do the same.
Wow! Loved your story, and you were right, so many are going through & went through, the same sort of situation (or at least one that was also trying). The thing that touched me the most about your story was that you weren’t seeking pity, but that you showed that we can flourish despite our past circumstances & that we can help others despite our current & past circumstances. In return, hopefully those we can be a blessing to, will in turn be a blessing to others. We never know when we may be the ones who are needing to be on the receiving end of things. Thanks for the encouraging words. God bless you & yours!! Alison F alijdjam@aol.com
I want to say that it makes me happy to hear that some of those government programs people sometimes malign made a difference for you growing up. We, as a nation, are a community. I wish more people recognized it(and I’m not saying that the system couldn’t use tweaking. It upsets me when one of the people I know tells me she’s afraid to take substitute teacher hours because she won’t be able to rely on them next month and she’ll lose food stamps if she does.)
Our household is doing fairly well now but right after my husband and I left the military we ended up living in a hotel. We were able to procure housing through TANF. It was a blessing to us, one that I’ll never forget and one that made me a huge proponent of social safety nets.. Two of our older kids grew up learning to think outside the box for extras. My oldest is employed at the skate rink he used to volunteer at when he was younger so that he could skate. My daughter financed some of her beads by selling her beading to others. My kids learned to shop at thrift stores during back to school because I would allow them to pocket the difference(with the understanding that you were required to have 5 oufits that were servicable/no holes.) They aren’t the worse the wear for growing up without the latest and greatest in designerware or gadgetry.
I have two more to go. I still like to remind them to be gracious and grateful. The important things in life aren’t “things” at all. If big, flashy and expensive were that important we’d come into the world with a bunch of worldly goods and we’d get to take em’ when we go. What matters most are the moments we have with each other and how we use them. Memories(in particular the meaningful ones) last beyond our lifetimes and can be carried over from generation to generation.
It’s my hope to one day be the subject of one of those “I remember” stories.
I love your blog. Your story really touched me, so much so that I continued to read all the comments from everyone. It reminds one of how very much we are blessed to have families, and church friends, and loving giving communities. I could give my story, but my inner self says there is always someone out there who needs a $50. gift cert. more than I. I sincerely hope that whoever receives it, really is someone that really needs it. Yes, it is fun to win something like that
I think it is great that you are doing this. May God Bless, Kathy Cain
thank you for sharing your story. it is touching to hear that small kindnesses are appreciated.
I think you hit the nail on the head. We’re called to help, to make a difference, TOGETHER! And really, it is so much fun when it is done together. 🙂
I have enjoyed reading each and everyone of these stories. I have found myself in a very unexpected situation recently that has left my family struggling financially as well. I’ve recently lost my job at the end of September suddenly without warning and have had no luck with my job search thus far. I really had not anticipated finding another job to be so challenging since I’ve recently obtained my RN license, however, the term “recently” may have a lot to do with my difficulty. Most jobs for nurses want experienced nurses and do not consider my 9 years of working as an LPN as experience. Although my partner of almost 6 years works full-time as a phlebotomist at the hospital, his income is barely enough to pay his car payment and a few small bills. My income was the primary source we lived on and without it, we are beginning to “sink” into a pit of financial despair. One of my biggest fears is that we won’t be able to give the kids Christmas this year. I hate to apply for any type of assistance due to shame of even needing it. I’ve struggled the last 3 years to finally get my RN license, while working at the same time as an LPN in order to improve the financial stability of our family, and now I have no job at all and have been unable to find one. We’ve never been able to give the kids a whole lot for Christmas, but we always made sure they each got one major gift they would enjoy and really wanted along with 4-5 other smaller gifts. This year, I’m worried how we’re going to make rent and I can’t even fathom the idea of Christmas this year. I appreciate everyone sharing their stories. It is comforting to know that I am not alone and I know it could be much worse. Thanks for listening.
I work full time while my husband works part time and goes to school, and we just had our first child in July. We aren’t exactly starving, but it has been a huge adjustment, especially with all the medical bills we have to pay in addition to the increase in our monthly cost of living.
Simply put …. I am happy I grew up with the struggles of having more month than money. I am 1 of 10 kids and I now very well what it was like to lack.
I now know God was setting me up to teach and guide all the kids who attend the high school right behind our house. It does not take long for the word to spread at a high school that The Tillmans will feed you if your hungry, will not turn you away if you are cold, or need a ride but most of all you can come and get your homework done and you can stay until your parents get off work so you don’t have to be at home alone.
Most people ask why would you allow such a thing at your home and why do you allow these kids to come and eat up all your food and why do you allow them to just hang out at your house? My answers… Most kids are looking for positive attention and just want to know they are wanted and fit in. We love on them and actually talk with them and not at them.
Food is just that. Food does not last forever and no matter what… you are going to have to go out and buy more food. Although times are hard for pretty much everyone food is a great tool to use to get teenagers to open up and encourage them. We know by the kids being at our house they are not in the streets, hanging out where they should not be, smoking, drinking, doing drugs, or even worse things while they are at our house. We help the community when we help the kids but most of all we are humbled to be able to help any and all who comes to our door.
ByHsBld@sbcglobal.net
i would like to enter to knowing the card never came to me but was donated to a food bank or used for toys for tots. i didn’t have much growing up but my parents gave me everything they could and when i got married and had kids we have given them everything we can too. a few years ago my husband lost his job due to the declining economy and found out the monday after thanksgiving of that year. we spent months with only unemployment and almost lost our house. without the love and support of our friends, family and community we would not have made it through. thanks to everyone who has helped someone in their time of need and for those haven’t given i hope you start. we give all the time in hopes of making others feel loved in our community and it gives us an amazing feeling in return also.
Hi..I-m a mom of 3 beautiful children ,I just love your site and think it’s wonderful what u are doing..Need more people like u around. I struggle around christmas time to get my kid’s what they want even if that mean’s working so much that I don’t see them. And even if I’m struggling, I teach my children that other’s out there have it worse. So every year I take my kid’s to the Homeless shelter to help with serving food, I think it’s a nice way to give back and teaches the kid’s what Christmas is all about..GIVING!!….
I’m going through some of those ‘hard times’ now & I am truly lucky to have a landlady who values us as much as we value her. If people got back to helping each other instead of trying to compete & get ahead this world would be a better place. Really, who needs billions of dollars & a house full of crap that sits there & has to be cleaned by someone who is paid? I’ll take a big family turning the barstools & crates into a kid’s table any day <3
I’m a not so single mom of 2.5 (my 14 year old autistic brother is here on weekends and holidays) with a very loving boyfriend who helps me by working his butt off so I can stay home with the kids. We have a lot of love but not a lot of money. We live in a one bedroom apartment that my lovely grandma (who owns it) lets us live here almost rent free. My older daughter has a father who pays me no child support and baby Daddy number 2 has limited income potential (past criminal record). I school my older daughter at home (through a public school program) and breastfeed my 6 month old so I don’t have too much time to earn extra money. Luckily we are blessed by my Grandma’s loving support, food stamps, WIC and my super amazing shopping skills! We have more than any other family I know with our income. I just signed up with it works ( angelacc.itworks.net )(hopefully that is ok to post, if not maybe you can edit it? ) to hopefully give us some more money to give to my Grandma for rent (she’s loving, not rich!) Thanks for the contest!
I grew up never realizing we were poor. My mom sewed the most beautiful clothes for us, we had the fun of growing most of our vegetables in our garden, we spent many hot summer days canning tomatoes for the winter, yet my mom and dad were always helping others and sharing what we had. I never felt I had to do without and the frugality they taught me helps me stretch my family’s dollars further than ever. Thank you for sharing your story and allowing all of us to do the same. I now gather donations for our homeless shelter and would enjoy using that gift card to help feed so many others – kind of a “loaves and fishes” thing. Passing on blessings I have received makes me feel richer.
I am a 31-year old single mom with a 10 year old wonderful little princess. 🙂 When I was a kid, we weren’t destitute but we weren’t wealthy either. My mom was my best friend in the whole wide world, we would sneak away to the mall for a special trip occasionally but only on the condition that we don’t tell dad, haha! Our house burned down (arson) when I was almost 10, and right before that was really the last time I remember every really shopping with my mom like that again. Two years later, my mom was diagnosed with cancer, and in 1995 she passed on. I was 14, and I lived with my alcoholic and abusive father until I was 17 and moved out. I started working 3 jobs, finished high school with a 3.8, and started junior college. Life was rough for the most part, but there were many shining places that I hold near and dear to my heart.
In 2008, both my father and my grandfather passed away, 4 months apart, leaving my grandmother alone and a widow. Those men were the most important people in her life, and she was understandably devastated. She also had a progressing form of dementia (Lewy Body Dementia) and was wheelchair confined needing 24/7 care – and a dwindling savings account thanks to all the hired outside caregivers coming in to assist her. I decided that we were going to try to keep her at home for as long as possible, so June of 2009, I quit my 11 year career to move in with her and care for her full-time.
It has been incredibly difficult, but oh so rewarding in many many ways. Her dementia has now progressed so far that it is necessary for her to be in a skilled nursing facility. I am incredibly thankful to have been able to spend so much time with her over the last 2.5 years and that my daughter was able to know her great-grandmother in this way.
I am now trying to find a job all the while trying to make everything seem smooth and wonderful for my daughter. We are living on my savings and odd jobs I get here and there, but I just can’t land that full-time position. I keep on smiling, scraping pennies, and finding joy in everyday having Faith that a job will come through. In the meantime, we donate to our school and to our church as much as possible. We also are donating to our local food bank. People who don’t know how tight things are in our family have offered free tickets to concerts and football games, out of the blue, blessing us with wonderful treats we would never have purchased ourselves.
Thank you for what you are doing through your blog and FB page – helping families like mine take control and find relief in small but huge ways. 🙂
Thank you For this. My mom stayed at home after I was born, which left my dad to work every day, in tough blue collar work, to make sure we had what we needed. He never complained, but I do remember years when his paycheck was uncertain am he would sacrifice I mak sure we had Christmas, I realize now that sometimes our canned foods came from the food pantry, not the store. My husband and I don’t have a lot, but my son has more than we did, which I guess is everyone’s goal. I want him to know the spirit of giving and to be thankful for what he does have. This year, his fourth Christmas, we will start choosing an angel from our town’s wish tree. And to the posters who questioned community, I for one know that it is alive and well here in small town East Texas and I certainly hope it is other places, too.
I did not have a bad childhood, my parents were always there for me and still are. They see how much I try to make it on my own and what a struggle it has been. I got married and we were doing just fine. We were bearly getting by. I got pregnant and now I am a stay at home mom. My husband had to find another job. He works 2 jobs now. One full time and one part-time one. We are having problems with our mortgage company. We are trying not to lose our home. We are struggling to get by. We go to my moms house every weekend to do yard work to get gas for the week. I don’t know what I would do without my mom. She is the best. She is always there for us. Trying to help any way she can.
My husband makes just enough to pay the bills and my mom helps with groceries and food for my 17 month old. I started couponing this year and it has help out alot. We are able to get a few more groceries than usual. This couponing is a full time job in itself. Its alot of work but its all worth it when you go to the store and see the total drop almost 50%. We hope that sometime soon he will be able to find a fulltime job that will pay better and that he has more free time. I feel bad because all he does is work to support us. Thank you for all you do and the opportunity for the giveaways.
My mom raised me on her own from the time I was five until adulthood. Government programs are no strangers to me; were it not for food stamps we would have not had food on the table even though my mom worked hard at a full time job. Christmases were tough at times, and I remember one Christmas a “secret santa” delivered a bag full of presents to my house containing makeup, clothes, etc. and I was so grateful. It wasn’t until I grew up that I truly appreciated my mom and how she tirelessly raised me on her own. I, like you, never went wanting for school clothes or supplies; my mom always found a way to get me the things I needed, if not the things I wanted. I want to be able to bless others like I was blessed during Christmas, but times are tough as it is in this economy. I am not complaining by no means, just stating the simple fact that it’s hard just to keep a roof over one’s own head these days. I really enjoyed reading your story, thank you for sharing it! http://valiablogs.wordpress.com @valiatweets on Twitter and Valia Lee on Facebook
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I too remember relying on the Government agencies for help when I was younger. Thank God they were there along with the many kind friends, family and strangers who also helped us. A couple of years ago I found a list titled Pass on Your Blessings at http://www.dennydavis.net. Each day you are encouraged to put money into a box based on what it says. For example, the Day after Thanksgiving is day 1 and reads “Day 1 (The Friday after Thanksgiving) – One out of five American children live in poverty, lacking adequate clothing. Give 2¢ for each pair of socks and tights each child has.” It goes for 38 days. This year we plan to donate it to a family shelter. I think this is a good way to get the kids involved with counting blessings and sharing “wealth”. It puts things into perspective so that the kids have a better understanding of how much they really have to be thankful for. Thank you again for sharing your story. And thank you for challenging us. 🙂
Sherrie Grieve
sherriegrieve@yahoo.com
Oh, I can SO relate! I had a somewhat similar situation – my parents married right out of high school. They had 5 children within about 10 years. At some point, my father decided to leave – I was almost 4, my youngest sister an infant. My mom had stayed home with us, so she had no professional skills. When she finally realized he wasn’t coming back and wasn’t going to help out financially (he never paid child support), she picked herself up and went to nursing school. We were on WIC, food stamps, and who knows what else. The funny thing is that I actually liked it when we were on them – they meant we had things like meat and produce – a big treat. We did have a garden every year, which really helped.
There are so many acts of generosity I remember through the years – one of my teacher’s sending her husband to deliver money for us so we’d have a Thanksgiving/Christmas and a coat for me because it was mid-November, and I didn’t have one. There were the times people from church bought us Christmas gifts and gave us clothes. Of course, as an elementary-aged girl, the most embarassing was the time when the principal and his wife bought me some clothes (including underwear!)
Now, I look back on it all fondly, but that act alone made me to realize that any giving I do, I want it to be anonymous. I give because my family has been blessed through my strategic shopping and couponing, and because I know what it feels like to do without – no child should have to grow up like that. Period.
Perfect example – last winter, a week or so before Christmas, my daughter (then in 4th grade) came home from school telling me about a little girl in her class who was saying that she’d be glad when they got some more food stamps so they could buy more food – she was hungry. Broke. My. Heart.
So, I did a little digging around and found out that there was a real need there then “rallied the troops” – put a call out to my facebook friends and family asking for their help. This little girl has two other siblings as well. Between my friends, family and myself, we were able to get a lot of groceries (things that the kids could easily fix themselves – because they ended up doing so often.) We also got coats, gloves, pjs, socks, clothes, books and toys for each of the kids. Then we took it and dropped it all off one night when they weren’t home – their little porch was piled high! I share this with you all because the impact the act of giving anonymously had on me and those who helped me. That was totally joy – not for recognition, not for a tax-deduction, but just for the joy of doing so, and it felt AWESOME!
Every year, I also adopt some children in a school program, similar to Angel Tree – all done anonymously. I try to include my daughter in it as much as possible so she learns about the needs of others and what we can do to help meet them. Last year I saw a great deal on comforters and grabbed a few. We took them to the local homeless shelter. This was intentionally not done anonymously because I viewed this as an opportunity for her to really see what a homeless shelter is like and tried to prepare myself for the many, many questions I knew she’d have. What a learning experience for her indeed!
I will echo your sentiments and encourage others to give also – it will not only teach your children a very powerful lesson, but it will bless you in ways you can never imagine – it has me! And, you could be the difference between a child being cold/hungry and warm/fed.
Oh, thank you for sharing your story. “It is through COMMUNITY that we can change the world.
It’s through COMMUNITY that we can shine light on someone else’s darkness. Every little bit helps!”
This REALLY touched me. Such powerful words! I too, grew up in a family that struggled, and made it through by the kindness of our small town. It really does take a community to lift a family up in times of need, times of desperation.
There was a point, in childhood, where Dad was in a bad wreck and unable to work for 2 years. Mom did the best she could, working at a cannery, delivering papers and such. But our family of 6 really survived through the love of others. Showing up with food. Babysitters when Mom and Dad couldn’t pay. Making sure that we, children, had clothes and things to play with. Wonderful memories!!
Now, I am a mother of 4, and am struggling. So I GREATLY appreciate all your help and advice on couponing! My husband works hard, and we… well, we survive! That’s all anyone can ask for. We have a home, big enough, and thanks to coupons, we don’t have to worry about if we’ll have enough food until the food stamp card is full again. 🙂
I was born to a 16-yr old and raised by a grandmother who worked 7 days AND 2 two nights, and a grandfather with one leg and leukemia on an island of no more than 300 ppl. At 6 or 7 my mom and new father (an immigrant with exactly $75 to his name) took me in (they lived near more educational options). Both homes were blessed with food and toys by the community and only in hindsight did I realized how little $$ we lived off.
There were a multitude of events between then and now (mobility, death of baby brother, college, etc.) that knocked us down financially, but without other families help we could have drowned. It never felt awkward because the givers never let it BE awkward.
Fastforward to recent events. We’re well off and give back, but communities are not as close-knit, and we had no idea if it was really helping. Then, we had a house fire in 2009. With 3 children under 5, and an ill m-i-l we suddenly had no place to spend the night, no clothes other than what was on our backs, no books, no food, not a toy, nothing but each other and a car. Boy, did we feel lucky. With all that was gone we still had our family intact. Suddenly, immediately, *things* didn’t matter. We got back on our feet through the goodness of stranger in my daughter’s kindergarten school. We have no idea who helped us through Walmart & restaurant gift cards, toys, and clothes donations but the difference their generosity made at the time still keeps us humble.
Vanest
My family just like most other families are just making it! I am a stay at home mom of 3 and I use coupons. I do not like to pay full price for anything! I like to help out everyone, but its hard to. So I donate time! I am a room mom for 2 of my children , so theresis a donatiion that not many people think of. Your time and love! I am also a girls scout leader. We wanted to do something for other people! So for our halloween party instead of trick or treating at our party. We trick n can goods! We all dressed up the week before and went door to. Door and collected can goods for the local shelter! The girls collects. Over 10 bags of canned goods, so proud of them and the lessons that where taught are amazing. We are planning on doing it again for our Christmas party. Caroling for cans!
Thanks for sharing your story. It was a treat to wake up to an optimistic story despite the challenges we all face on a daily basis. It’s how we handle things that make the difference. My story is not as difficult and strewn with abuse, pain, sickness as some and hearts heal over time and experience. As a single mom, my goals and dreams only involve my teen sons and their eventual success in life; all else doesn’t matter. They are growing up with a sense of self-worth and it already shows in their accomplishments. When they eventually grow into adults, I can take a breath and be glad for a job well done. I think that growing up frugally as opposed to being spoiled with many material and store-bought things will give my boys an appreciation for what they DO have and not what they don’t.
Thanks for this encouraging post. I am a stay-at-home mom, homeschool mom. We made hard choices and still make them…to live without, to make it on one income, to sacrifice the extras…so I can be home with my kids. My heart breaks for all those moms who want to stay at home, who want to invest in the lives of their kids, but because of “circumstances” find that impossible. Bless you for your willingness to bless others!
I’ve volunteered my time on and off and have donated a lot of items to those in need.
It isn’t very often that I read something that actually touches my heart, but your story did.Often times when you grow up on government programs, as i did also, you feel like so much less than those around you.I’m no stranger to hard times, but one of the best things i have found through this frugal lifestyle is the ability to give to those in need.You are right when you say strategic shopping is almost like another income!I have been so blessed with so much more than I ever thought possible and I have finally been able to bless others!It is truly the best feeling in the world to tell someone “I have what you need”.And just give it away!The club my couponing friends and I started will be giving away baskets and gifts this year and we are so excited that we are able to!Thanks for sharing your story and thanks for being a blessing and an encouragement!
my family has always been the kinda make due family. We never had a lot of money and I mostly wore clothes from places like goodwill growing up. The downhill part of this is that I was picked on quite often in grade school. I was the new girl, chunky with old clothes and buck teeth when we moved to town. I guess it helped shape me as a person in the end but it probably has alot to do with why I make sure my kids have really nice clothes now and are well dressed.
we are blessed to have my husband working a great job and me at home but i would still love to win this so i can give it to someone i know who could really use the help after moving across the country. no matter how much we have or don’t have, we are all blessed. thank you for this opportunity to remember that!
i my family was so blessed by an african-american church in tuscaloosa after katrina — honestly we probably still had more than most of them did — but they supported us emotionally as we rode the roller coaster of realizing whose homes were gone, flooded or safe…
rjwhet@charter.net
Your story really gave me hope that I will get those these tough time. I started clipping coupons and I’m saving a little but I can do better. I believe that if I keep it in GODS hands we all shall over come everything were going through. Thanks for all the goodness you do.
I know there are a lot of other people who are really worse than what I am in right now. I try everyday to give my kids what they need because that is the things they will learn to appreciate in life. My husband is the only one who works and work is getting slower and slower. I have 3 girls. 8, 7 and 6. I know many people may say, well if you can’t afford kids don’t have them. It wasn’t like I was trying to have 3 girls. The youngest is adopted and she is my husband’s neice. We have had her since she was 2. Her mother and father don’t ever call her nor try to see her even tho we are in the same town. It is harder on us, but I know that is what God wanted us to do for her. We didn’t want her to go off into a home and not be able to see any family anymore. My kids and I are very thankful for the help our family tries to give and anyone else that may help out. This Christmas would be really great with help from someone like you! Thank you for doing this for others even if we don’t get picked! God Bless you and all like you!
My husband lost his job a year ago, but was blessed with a new one in three months. We lost 70% of our income and I had to go back to work to make ends meet. He then had a back injury at work which laid him up for another 2 months. I have come to realize that an education is important and have started attending college to get a degree so that if something permanent happened to my husband I could carry the family. We give our time and energy to our church, as well as our tithes and offerings to help others. We are thankful all blessing and have realized it is quality not quantity.
Wow!!! You wrote a wonderful and thought provoking article there. Thank you. It brought back memories for me too of when my brother and I were little and our mom was single and working hard to care for us. We were showered with love from her and she always gave us positive ways to see things. We could never afford Christmas trees, so she would go get a small branch from a tree and decorate it and put it in a vase and we would put the few gifts we had around it. It truly was a “Charlie Brown tree”. But, because of my moms wonderful love and attitude, it were as if it was taller than any tree ever seen. I have for years donated to the boys clubs that would not have clothes, toys, etc. Now I have a 5 yr old son and we donate a LOT to the womens shelter near us and the humane society. I LOVE hearing him say “Mom, are we going to go donate today?”
I never realized when I was younger that we didn’t have money. My dad always worked, my mom was a stay at home mom until my bro went into middle school. I remember my dad always working hard, providing for us. I never realized that we had little money until I was older and saw people bringing presents to our house for us. Thankfully my parents have been married 31 years and give faithfully to others. I always remember that people helped us out , even when I didn’t realize it…like our neighbor hed always bring over something a turkey, a lasagna, some chocolates, etc. I have the best memories of growing up. I am married now and my husband isn’t making enough ,Im trying to find a job to help, I worry about helping my son have a good Christmas.I know things will work out. I do my best to coupon and I want to give back as well. Beyond worrying for my son…I worry about my sister who has a son whos dad left and shes been struggling to pay all her bills while providing for him. I also think about all those children who were like so many , that will have to do without come Christmas Day and would love to provide food for a meal , a toy to make their morning happy. 🙂 Thank you for providing this opportunity to help someone out, I always want to remember others no matter where I am in life. (suzanne_bond@hotmail.com)
I left home when I was 15 years old, thinking that my home life was crappy and that I could do better. I had my first child just after I turned 16 and had three more by the time I was 24. I have been fighting to find myself ever since. I divorced twice before finding my soul mate when I was 37. My first husband had an affair with my friend who was living with us and my second husband tried to kill me. My four girls and I left and made our way on our own. While working full time, I enrolled in university. I took correspondence courses on a full time basis while working. My reasoning was that it would be a good influence for my girls. I graduated in 2002 with my BA. In 2008, I was laid off from my job and ended up back at school again. I graduated again in 2010 with distinction. Now I am fighting to find a job again. My new profession is to help others. I am a Behaviour Therapist and love the potential. I am not unique and I have not had it as bad as some or as good as others. I live my life and treat others that way that I would like to be treated. I want people to know that they are not alone and that there is always someone there to help, please ask.
My husband receives 2 bonuses a year. Each time he gets them, we give a good portion of it away to one or more families in our community that are in need at the time. I love the feeling I get when I can bless others!
I am grateful that we can do this. There was a time (and occasionally still is) when we were the ones in need and were blessed by others. I thank God for the people He has placed in my life!!
enlow00@yahoo.com
i have and stil is in that kind of perdictument i have been a stay at home mom since i was 19 i have been taking care of my children and other children as well since 1996 i have a 17 and 18 yr old sons and jus gave birth to another boy i dont have much disabled and barely making ends meet its very hard but i have always taught my kids to give and help out even though we dont have i still donate my time to senior citzens homes and i donate and send boxes to children in other countries for christmas and i make sure me and my family cook and serve for thanksgiving to the community every year and i help distribute toys to other kids and familys i find it very touching for me to help out in every way cause god has blessed me and my family from sleeping in the cars at night sleeping in abandon buildings to being in a shelter and having a some sort of food on my kids plate might not be alot but we dont complain and thanks to people in the community we are able to have the extra food to help feed my family if it wasnt for the food pantrys we would starve before the end of the month but that still doesnt stop me and my family from volunterring at the salvation army and the senior citzens this year for thanksgiving and to help out for christmas so that everybody can open up something for christmas
we have never complained i jus always know god has a plan for us so we are greatful to have what we have and to help out others as long as we can help others our blessings and prayors are always heard
swsexy01@gmail.com
Even though my husband and I are blessed to both be working, the economy has not been so good to us and our bills get higher and higher while our income has not. Plus we added to the family with a baby last year and now have 3 young children. $50 could go a long way!
Wow, I couldn’t help but tear up with your story. My parents divorced when I was 8 yrs old and similar to your story my mom who was always at home with us began to work. It was hard transitioning from being the center of her world to barely having her attention. Unfortunately, my mom liked her new life and barely spent time with me and my siblings. My dad was not very involved and so thankfully we had an older cousin that lived close by that “mothered” us during our teen years. We didn’t have much community support but I often wonder where I would be if I didn’t have my cousin in those years showing me that I was valuable and worth spending time with. My sister and I both went to work in the social welfare system to help children and show them that people do care about them. Now I am a stay at home mom and hope that my kids will always know that they are loved and cared for even if we have some rough times. Thanks for sharing your story!
I’d like to win the gift card for my mom- she is a real estate agent and has not been doing too well in this economy! Thank you for this giveaway(:
Thank you for sharing your story. When I was nine my father passed away. I don’t believe my mother was working at the time. A lot of friends and family reached out to us so much during that difficult time. My mother did work and we were getting SSN from my father’s death but it still was hard at times. We had so much support and when I think about it now I am so thankful for the people that helped us. Now I am married and a few years after I had gotten married things had gotten really tough for us. I was not working and my husband’s job had cut back on hours and sometimes he would even get laid off for weeks at a time. We struggled and a dear friend and also some family members really helped us with food. I was so thankful for that. My mother-in-law worked for a grocery store and one time she gave us a huge box of chicken she had gotten a discount on. We were both thinking..wow that’s lot of chicken lol…but we were so thankful to have it. I have only been couponing for a few months and I have gotten some things to give to my family. I’m trying to learn more and more and help anyone I can. I’ve always helped with charities during the holidays when I was working. I try to help anyway I can even if it isn’t through food or money.
Email is mabarnes1982@hotmail.com
Melissa Barnes
Christmas was quickly approaching and my husband and I were already on a small budget. We had 3 children. All mine from a previous marriage. We just knew God was going to find a way to make it a good holiday for the kids. Just before Thanksgiving my husband and I had split up leaving me with these 3 beautiful children who were looking to me to make it. I remember confiding in a coworker telling them I didn’t know how I was going to do this.
With just a few gifts hidden away in the closet I sat in my living room Christmas eve wondering how the kids were going to feel the following morning. Around 8pm a truck pulled up in front of my house with the back bed overflowing with gifts. They were all marked with things like, Boy 5-8. Girl 7-10.
Come to find out that my fellow coworker told his wife who told her sister and so on and so forth until a group of friends had gotten together and bought gifts for all my kids.
I thank God to this day for such a blessing!
I have loved being apart of your fan page and blog. Before i go into my story, i’d just like to say THANK YOU for everything you do for your fans. It means the world.
My husband and i were married 6 years ago and together we have two beautiful daughters. When we started out, we were a typical family.My husband and i both worked, bought a home and did what we could to keep savings. My husband worked in retail, when the economy tanked, my husband was laid off after almost 10 years with the company. I have become unable to work as i suffer from massive social anxiety disorder. The panic attacks become so much, i was no longer able to work. That was 3 years ago. I havent worked since. I am on meds, which help but not enough to make a significant difference. My husband has had to rub my back and support me through a many of panic attack in public places. You don’t understand the embarassment of a panic attack in the middle of an aise at walmart until you experience it. With my husband laid off and me not working, we lost our home to forclosure and had to sell every item of value to keep from being homeless. We are slowly climbing back towards a normal life. We curretnly reside with family. We have much to replace. To help our family, i coupon, i freebie hunt and enter contests in hopes of winning things we can use. EVERY little bit helps. Any free samples i aquire that i do not use get sent to friends and family, as well as service men in care packages. My husband is steadily seeking employment and we are doing everything we can to get through this very challenging and heartbreaking year. You never think you will be in the situation until you’re there. Then it takes every fiber of strength to get through it. My biggest fear s that our girls, 8 and 3, will suffer. I have not BEGUN to christmas shop and honestly don’t know if i will be able to this year. Nothing breaks the heart of a parent more than the thought of a christmas without a tree, decorations or gifts. I pray to soon get back on our feet and once we do, plan to pay it forward as much as i can. Thank you for tis wonderful opportunity, i will be praying hard as that walmart gift card would help us so very much. Thanks again for all you do. God Bless.
Wow, that was a bit tough to read since I can relate so much. I grew up dirt poor, parents always making below poverty level (under $22K total household income at most). Mom worked fast food for 10 years and drove a school bus. Dad eventually drove a school bus, but is now disabled. We didn’t really have food stamps that often because they always made just above the requirements (which is silly if you think about how little they made). The one thing I can say is that we too never went without a meal or Christmas gifts under the tree. When someone broke in and stole all our gifts before Christmas, among other things, our church reached out and gave my parents money to buy new gifts. There was always one particular older couple at our church that always made sure us girls had gifts each and every year when we were a bit older. Our church always had a tradition of parents putting at least one gift under the church tree for their child, then each child would hear their name called and would come up to get their gift. We were always worried that our name wouldn’t be called, but it never failed, we always heard our name called at least once thanks to the generosity of this wonderful couple.
Fast forward 15 years later and this year we’re the ones without any money (both my husband and I are unemployed and have blown through our savings just to get by over the last 6 months). My husband is disabled and has been unable to find work since being injured 3 years ago. My parents and sisters are also struggling to get by and we’re all trying to help each other (thankfully, I have a nice stockpile that I’m able to share with them). We have no money to buy our son any gifts for Christmas (he’s 13), but he understands our situation. This time last year we were planning our Christmas trip to WDW that ended up being our gift to each other last year, so things have drastically changed for us in the last year. But despite not having money, we still packed 3 shoe boxes for Operation Christmas Child to donate this year as we do every year and we still have small gifts to give to others thanks to coupons (i.e. free photo book from Wolf Camera offer in this past week’s circular). We never ask for handouts and have yet to ask anyone for help. We know that we’ll get by somehow. I’m a firm believer that you reap what you sow and without faith we wouldn’t still be making ends meet despite our situation.
Where do I begin. I grew up in a family with 5 kids. My parents struggled every day to make ends meet. My Mom and Dad worked 2 jobs for a very long time. We did not have what all the other kids had. My parents never owned a home and never had a new car. They would finance cars from a used car lot and sometimes even those cars would get repoed. Some might wonder what my parents did for a living..Mom worked for the telephone company and Dad worked in Security(supervisor, manager,etc..) The second jobs varied (Target,Whataburger,K Mart). We were so desperate for money that we would spend the weekends picking up cans to recycle them for money. We were all aware we were poor. The lights,water and gas were disconnected on several occasions. My family never had help. We spent the summers home alone once we were at the age to care for ourselves. We walked ourselves to school and walked home to wait for our parents to finaly get home. Dinners were never fancy..take out was not an option. Growing up and not having what all the other kids had was very hard. We all know that being a kid is not easy and when they know you are poor it is 10 times harder. My home life was not easy…parents fought a lot, Dad had many affairs, so many things I do not wish for anyone especialy a child to deal with. My child hood made me who I am today. I am married to an amazing man who works very hard to provide for us. We do not have any children but we do have 9 wonderful nieces and nephews. My parents are still poor and barely get by and they are now in their 60’s. I take care of all of my parents household needs so they have the money to pay teh bills. When I became an adult I vowed to help people because I know exactly how it feels to be poor. We do not have a lot but I know we have more than some. My husbands co worker recently lost his home to a fire. I went through my home collecting things that they could use. Many of his co workers did not feel like they should help for many reasons but I did. I gave them all the personal care stuff they needed, laundry detergent, food, food for their pets, etc. Each year we give either a monetary donation or donate toys to the families in need in our community. I want every kid to have at least 1 gift on X-Mas morning.
God Bless
Oh boy did this hit home! I grew up not knowing my drug addict, prostitute mother (met her when I was 16), being severely physically and mentally abused by a psychotic stepmother, kicked out on the streets at 13 and moving from home to home until I finally became an adult and needed to start a life of my own. I could have ended up in a very different lifestyle than I chose, but I knew I wanted to actually LIVE. I married, and have 2 beautiful boys now but adulthood has not had its major challenges. Before having children I knew I needed to do something with meaning for someone who needed it, so I packed school supplies, medical supplies, clothing and anything that I could find that may benefit someone in need and flew to Nicaragua, where tarps and sticks are not uncommon building materials for a lean to/home. I never felt more important in my life to give to people who have literally nothing. So while I went to school with the same outfit for a week, these people live day in and day out with 3 pairs of clothing-period! To give was absolutely the most rewarding experience in my life aside from giving birth to my babies. After returning from Nicaragua, we lost our home, had to sell everything we own, moved in with my inlaws and have been on assistance since 2008, with no sign of pulling out in the near future, although I am always hoping for that big break! Still, no matter how bad it is here, I still thank God and this country for everything we are given and I still love to give to others, because it is important to do so in our own country/city/home. Even if it is donating canned food to a drive or helping a friend who cant afford day care, my boys will grow up knowing that giving is a beautiful and rewarding thing. It wont be an option, just a way of life, not expecting a thing in return. Just the satisfaction of knowing that you can make a difference with love.
I remember a few years ago I was home with my youngest child. I was cleaning up getting ready for lunch when my doorbell rang. It was a church group who came with food and presents for all 4 of my kids, my husband and I. I was so surprised and touched. I didn’t tell anyone that we were struggling and that our kids wouldn’t have anything for Christmas that year. I don’t know how they found out, I was just thankful that they did and were there to make sure my kids had a great Christmas. We still struggle, especially with 6 kids now, but when I catch a great deal I make sure to pick up extras so I can donate them to a family that may be struggling more than mine.
My family never had a lot of money, but always got by! My dad worked 2 jobs all of his life and my mom was a stay at home mom to her 5 kids! They struggled to get by for some things and often did without. But they made sure it wasn’t really known by us! We knew we didn’t have any extra money, but always had something! My parents struggled to keep us all in Catholic school, and fortunately, it wasn’t nearly as expensive back then as it is now! We had a lot of family and being together on the holidays was always the fun part! There was always presents under the tree! And we had some new clothes and some hand me downs! We would get new school uniforms every year if there were none at home that would fit and always new school shoes every year! When we were old enough to work, we got jobs to buy things on our own, our own clothes and any extras we may have wanted. This helped lessen the load for our parents!
My parents are still together after 50 years of marriage, and still struggle month to month; But they are the first ones to lend a hand or a dollar! They have bailed all of their children out at one time or another! Currently, my youngest brother and his wife and 2 kids are living home with them!
When I was 27 and had 2 small children, I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s disease. Everyone was devastated! Had a few close calls in the hospital, but pulled through! But I struggled through, working part time through most of my treatments! I had a great job and a very understanding and supportive company! My brothers and sisters and parents (as well as many others) made sure we didn’t want for anything! When tuition was due, whatever we were short was always covered! And the Christmas tree was packed with presents! As the years went on, so did all of our lives and we were now scattered in about 4 states! 2 of us were in different areas of Florida! And my parents had just moved down. Mom was still unsure of the move! And again I was struck with Cancer, Ovarian this time! And again, not sure how I would come through it! Another great employer and co-workers! Donated their sick days to help cover the 3 months I would be without pay before my long term disability kicked in! I only was without pay for about a month! And Family back home in PA all got together and had a big fundraiser and raised a bunch of money for my extra medical bills! After about 7 months I went back to work, feeling great because i had beat it! My kids were now a freshman and Senior in high school as I battled! (still private school and much more expensive)! My daughter even had a teacher pay for some graduation expenses until she could get the money together a few months later! As Christmas time hit again, we were all so thankful to just have another Christmas together! My brothers and sisters all traveled to FL that first year to be together! And not long after, something just wasn’t right! My cancer had recurred, and was bringing more problems with it! Within a few months I had the full recurrence, kidney failure and then a stroke! My daughter was away at college at that point! But again, I struggled through, more chemo, more time out of work! I finally got back to work part time, and struggled to do even that for the next 18 months or so! In that 18 months, my sister also got cancer (bladder) and lost her life at 45, then 5 months later we lost my grandmother! At this point I was losing my healthcare benefits as well! I decided life was too short and quit my job! That was almost 4 years ago! It was the best decision i ever made! My family still is always there for each other! My sister comes to visit and cooks and freezes a ton of food to make it easier for my husband who now does everything! He works and does all the cooking and cleaning! I have had health issues on and off all of these last few years, and have not been able to bounce back like I once did! My family (immediate and extended) made sure my son’s tuition was paid to finish his senior year in the same school! He is now a senior in college and will be graduating next year! And my daughter is planning a wedding for next year as well!
I sign up for all the free samples i can find, and what I won’t use I donate to shelters and friends and family! I even have a small supply of free diapers that I donate as I get a bunch together! And I take advantage of Buy one get one free items in the stores! I am buying one anyway, so I get the second and donate it! All of these little things add up and can mean quite a difference in some people’s lives! At my former employer, we always adopted a few families and senior citizens at Christmas time and made sure that every member had stuff! Toys for younger ones, clothes or whatever was needed for the older ones and adults! Just putting a basket together with pajamas and slippers and maybe tea and cookies and some special paper napkins can look like a huge gift, especially for someone who has next to nothing, and we usually added a gift card for a local supermarket too! We still try to buy a gift or two from giving trees at local places! I pick up clearance items and toys all through the year so at Christmas time we can easily have a very nice gift together in no time!
Well this wound up a lot longer and more off track than I had intended! My point was that it is easy to do something for others in need! Just picking up 1 extra item at the supermarket each week and donating them occasionally can make such a big difference! I have been trying to use coupons this past year or so, and have saved a bunch! My kids volunteered at least 20 hours every year in high school for different places! Sometimes it was habitat for humanity building houses and sometimes it was visiting nursing homes to visit the elderly who have no family in the area! I’m sure it was often more, but 20 hours documented was a requirement each year of school to move to the next grade!
I am now in a support group with other women with Ovarian Cancer. We are a support system for each other and can help where ever it is needed, even if it is just advice or a shoulder to cry on! We donate goody bags with socks saying “we will walk with you” to the newly diagnosed patients in the hospital! We meet once a month!
There is no greater gift than just being there for someone in need!
What a beautiful story. I grew up with very little as well and we often had baskets of holiday food on our door steps every year. One year, we didn’t have money for gifts, and our uncle who had never sent us gifts before sent each of us kids a new toy, so we never knew the difference! God always provided for us. 🙂 Thanks for sharing.
I grew up in a happy home and am trying to replicate that with my own family although I am divorced and raising two sons. Their father is in their lives and everything is turning out well despite and angry divorce 10 years ago. Life goes on and hopefully everything will continue to be ok as long as there is no visible and audible animosity between parents in front of the kids. chichijunk at cs dot com
My husband and I both were unexpected unemployed for almost two years. During that time there were a lot of months when we didn’t have income at all, and others when it was almost insignificant.
It wasn’t easy, and it was and is a lot of hard work, but God took care of us. And a lot of the time He chose to do it through strangers who shared with us, probably never guessing how much we really needed it.
Times are still hard, but my husband and I are very committed to paying it forward…or in our case, paying it back by sharing with others. Right now, a childhood friend of mine is facing bankruptcy after a terrible car accident that cost her husband his job and has left them with so many bills to pay that they don’t know what to do. I’d like to share this with her.
thanks for sharing your story and for this chance to pass on some goodness and love.
alaskawildrose at gmail dot com
My father was a drunkard and a cheater. My mother did the best she could with what he would have leftover. One year, so precious still in my memory, she was able to buy us little dolls and she made diaper bags, diapers, shirts for them, put in a plastic bottle, and diaper pins she had from us as babies, and we thought we had treasures untold!
Your story is very touching. I cannot imagine the pain of losing your mother so young.
I read your story, and I was thrilled with your challenge!! In fact I had already challenged myself this year. Recently my local MOMS group had planned a community service project at a local abused womens shelter. Unfortunately there were not enough people volunteering their time, so they were forced to cancel the project. There was so much work involved in setting this up, and I thought, I don’t want this to be the end of it. I decided to go through my small stockpile and see what I have available. I am also planning on finding as many deals as I can to contribute to the donation I will bring in. The $50 would be HUGE in this, we are a one income family with three kids, and one more on the way…couponing has helped us, and I hope to pay it forward to as many people as I can
Your story touches my heart in more ways then I can express! I grew up in a VERY similar situation. We scraped by all the time and just when I was about to move out on my own my parents started there own business and though they struggled at times it was something they pressed forward with and have kept posative about. 7 years ago my very young brother had a little girl who was born with a VERY rare genetic disorder called spondylothoracic dysostosis (Jarcho-levin syndrome) children rarely live past 2 years old (she is doing great 7 years later) my parents took on the extream responsability of taking care of her. Doctors, specialists, hopitalization, a trach and ventilator, the fact that she is blind and all that comes with that and much more. They kept pushing on running there business and so forth. All while doing anything they can for their own children and other grandchildren they would give the shirt off their backs and their last dollar (I have actually seen them do both). My parents have always made amazing christmas’ for us no matter how little we had there was always so much under our tree and so much love, decoration, and tradition (they used the ashes from our chimney one year to make boot prints on the floor) they have continued this tradition with us and our kids! It is such an important tradition to them. Sadly my parents small business has taken a bad hit with the economy they may lose there home in the next few weeks (and were still trying to bring me $20 the other day when we were struggling) I don’t know where they will be at christmas but I do know that if I were to win this the fact that our own family struggles paycheck to paycheck is in no way important I would give the entire gift card to them because I don’t want to ever take away the tradition that they (and us and our children) love so much about christmas. I hate to think that this hard time can be made worse by them being unable to give christmas to my neice (the one they have) and the rest of their grandchildren the way they love to do. Thanks so much for listening and thanks for sharing such a touching story.
sonjaemerson@att.net
We have always strived to pay a little bit forward, usually because that is all we had. Now that things are easier, we are working even harder to live our lives wiser. This lifestyle, while misunderstood by many, allows us to do more. Thank you for sharing your knowledge to better allow us to follow your lead.
We’re in a good place right now. Not rich by any means, but we have enough, and that’s so much more than others have in this time of need. We’re looking for a way to bless a few families this holiday season and teach our children the act of generosity and gratitude. Thanks for the opportunity to win the walmart card. Would love to pay it forward.
Yes, I have been impacted by the kindness of strangers. Once when we were eating at a Carrows restaurant, the guy that sat at a table near to us, when he went to go pay for his food and leave, he paid for ours as well. That was such a nice surprise. I think about that all the time now when we go out to eat….. I give folks coupons now when we go out to eat. I always have b1g1 free entree coupons, so I try to pay it forward from that moment the guy paid for our food with b1g1 free entree coupons. Folks seem to be really surprised and grateful when I give them the coupon. I just love it…… 🙂
For a family of four on a very strict budget, a gift like this would be a huge blessing. After two months of barely making ends meet we have had to find any area possible to cut back so we could continue to pay the bills. With the holidays quickly approaching and paychecks getting smaller, I know without a blessing like this we will not be able to afford Christmas gifts this year. But knowing all this, I am learning to be thankful, completely thankful, for the things we do have. I am confident that this will still be an amazing holiday season.
FIrst off, let me say how much I love your site. Your story touched me, and even more so because I’m from a small town in north Jersey, too (Carteret!). My husband and I have had many ups and downs financially throughout our 12 years of marriage, but we always try to help out those who may need it more than we do. Every year, throughout the year, we give where we can, but I think my most memorable experience of helping a family in need was the year before our first child was born. My husband and I were both working full time (I’m a stay at home mom now) and making good money so we decided to “adopt” 3 children through the program for families in need my company was helping. Technically, we were only supposed to purchase one present off each child’s list but instead, we purchased every present they asked for, including new bicycles! Our only thoughts were of the joy on these children’s faces when they received their presents on Chrsitmas morning. We were both blessed to have very good idealic childhoods and the thought that we could help other children have special holiday memories still warms my heart to this day.
jencala28@yahoo.com
Thank you for your post. Such an encouragement to many. Although I can’t relate to your childhood story of divorce and barely getting by, I can say that my husband, my kiddos and I have been blessed beyond words over the last few years. Recently we adopted a little boy from Kazakhstan. Choosing to adopt the “fatherless” is not for the faint of heart that is for sure. We were continually overwhelmed by the support of our family, friends and church family. We were blessed over and over with many gifts: gift of time, moneys, prayers, meals, babysitters, frequent flier miles (we had to travel to Kaz. 4 times!!). I was brought to tears and to my knees in thanksgiving many times. My husband is a pastor and I am a mom at home. We are not wealthy perhaps by American standards, but we are wealthy in other ways. After spending time in Kazakhstan we were reminded again that have so much. We are healthy, happy, loved and we are using the gifts that God has given us for his glory. We are participating in Project Angel Tree this year and I hope our family can be a blessing to some other family this holiday season!
wendy.sterk@sbcglobal.net
I just came across your website and have been honestly moved to tears by your story and “call to action” so to speak for everyone to pitch in as a community.
My story is simple – I’ve started couponing and savvy shopping as a way to support staying at home with my 6 month old son, and amongst the great deals I realized I could help others with children in return. If diapers are on sale, purchase a few extra to donate to a diaper bank. If baby food is at an amazing price, grab a couple for your local food drive. It’s often the necessities that are needed most and no child should go hungry or be forced to live in a soiled diaper. Every little bit counts and I think as a community we can do a lot for other mothers and families everywhere.
mommynmunchkin@gmail.com
I have been reading some of the comments below. I know some said they was poor and hard to get through daily but when I see what people buy at the store gosh I can see why Americans are poor. Many at Wal-Mart look like they have nothing but buy the most expensive items. They have no knowledge how to buy the right items. Many items are quick easy to cook or micwave items costing twice to three times the cost. Some use to make a lot of money like over $100,000 a year for years then lose their jobs have nothing and lose their homes and cars and crying on TV to help them. $100,000 I never made that kind of money in my life but yet have my house paid for, drive a used older car paid for and buy most of my items with coupons and specials and mostly eat out when specials are on like Groupons and so forth and many people call me cheap yet they are the ones with finanical troubles. I spend cash and if not then I do without. Funny how or parents expecially grandparents always made it. No credit cards and paid in cash. They did without but happy being not in debt. Americans seems like things are owed to them. That is why this country is almost 15 Trillion dollars it debt. They think this country owes them. I say live within your means and save for the future. Laugh at your friends that have a huge house new cars but living pay check to pay check. They may laugh at you but you get the last laugh. When they go broke they look at the people who are fugal to bail them out. I say live in your tent. I am live nice in my much smaller home that you use to laugh at. We the Americans deserve what we are going through “GREED” but too bad we the fugal will feel the pain too.
I have been reading some of the comments below. I know some said they was poor and hard to get through daily but when I see what people buy at the store gosh I can see why Americans are poor. Many at Wal-Mart look like they have nothing but buy the most expensive items. They have no knowledge how to buy the right items. Many items are quick easy to cook or micwave items costing twice to three times the cost. Some use to make a lot of money like over $100,000 a year for years then lose their jobs have nothing and lose their homes and cars and crying on TV to help them. $100,000 I never made that kind of money in my life but yet have my house paid for, drive a used older car paid for and buy most of my items with coupons and specials and mostly eat out when specials are on like Groupons and so forth and many people call me cheap yet they are the ones with finanical troubles. I spend cash and if not then I do without. Funny how or parents expecially grandparents always made it. No credit cards and paid in cash. They did without but happy being not in debt. Americans seems like things are owed to them. That is why this country is almost 15 Trillion dollars it debt. They think this country owes them. I say live within your means and save for the future. Laugh at your friends that have a huge house new cars but living pay check to pay check. They may laugh at you but you get the last laugh. When they go broke they look at the people who are fugal to bail them out. I say live in your tent. I am live nice in my much smaller home that you use to laugh at. We the Americans deserve what we are going through “GREED” but too bad we the fugal will feel the pain too.
Thank you for sharing your story. I enjoyed reading other reader’s post as well. Such a reminder that we should all “pay it forward” when we have benefited from the kindness of others. It is always heartwarming to know that there are still people in this world who are not focused just on themselves.
Thank you for the inspirational story, it is similar to my upbringing in many ways. In my case, it was an alcoholic father, my parents divorced and he was pretty much out of the picture. In our little town, in the early 1960’s, I had to work in the kitchen at school to pay for the free meals that they gave my brother and I. My mom went back to school, but that was rough financially also. She had me plan meals and I had to figure out how to make a chicken last for 3 dinners for our little family, too bad we didn’t have the Internet in those days. My brother and I bought food, school stuff and clothing with the money we made babysitting or at side jobs. There was also a lot of help from family and local churches and others that preferred to remain anonymous. Eventually my mother started teaching and got caught up on things financially. I vividly remember us going to a drugstore and she bought all kinds of things that she put under the sinks in the kitchen and bathroom. It was such a blessing to have these things that we had done without for most of our lives … I would go and open the cabinets and just look.
I am so grateful to you and other blogs for the hints and articles on coupons and saving money, it has really helped me to stretch my meager food and personal item budget. It has given me a sense of security, having a small stockpile and knowing that I now have the knowledge and skills to get by on very little money, if needed. It makes me use my brain and gets me out of the house and I get a lot more exercise. I am also able to donate a lot to a local charity, it is wonderful to be able to help others with quality items that I get for almost free.
Blessings to all!
I’m a mother of 2 teenager’s, one who will graduate this year. I finished my degree in Social Work on 12/2009. I have been unemployed for the past couple years and havnt been able to do much for my 2 beautiful kids. I got married in March and my husband since has lost his job. I have always been a giver have been a volunteer at the school, I did animal rescue for 3 years etc. This would help me to at least have a great holiday meal for them. What a nice and great thing your doing …Thank You. I hope you and yours have a wonderful Holiday!
I good memory I had was a kind family that took my sister, parents, and grandmother in after our car broke down on our way home from NJ to FL. We were in VA and no money for hotel, food, or any way to get home. The husband of this family brought us to their home where they fed us dinner that night and breakfast they next morning. They took my dad to some government agency (don’t know which one) but we given bus passes to make the rest of the trip home. We kept in contact a few years after that but lost touch. I think about them and often ask God to bless them for the great kindness they showed us.
I loved your story. My husband is a pastor of a small baptist church. We make the least amount of money we ever have and live the best we ever have. I account it to nothing but the blessings of the LORD!! He has been so faithful to me and my family. If i died today he has met ever need and has given me the most precious family.
My hubby and I met in college – age 19 and 21. We were married shortly thereafter. I graduated pregnant and we had two kids before my hubby finished his masters degree. Money has always been tight and needs go first.
Thank you for sharing your story. It’s amazing how communities can make a difference. In the community where I live, we collect donations at various points throughout the year and donate to families/individuals in our community. It always feels so good to make a difference in someone’s live – whether or not we know it.
Your story touched my heart. You are a very kind and generous person. I remember our family struggling, too. My father was wounded in WW 2 and was disabled and could not work, (MSGT US Army) and my mother only had an 8th grade education because she had to drop out of school and help her mom with her 10 younger siblings by working on a dairy farm, so the only job she could find was in a sardine factory. We were pretty poor and my 2 brothers and I worked in the garden, and took care of our chickens so we could have food in the house. My brothers also hunted and fished and we lived mostly off the land. For years we went without hot water in our house because my parents couldn’t pay for a new hot water tank when ours gave out, so my brothers would fill a big galvanized wash tub and set it on top of the wood stove to heat. Then they’d lug it to the bathtub, I’d add a little cold water, and there was my bath. It made me the strong person I am today. My dad passed when I was 15 years old and my mom when I was 21.
I have 2 daughters aged 23, and 10. My 10 year old was recently diagnosed with Benign Focal Epilepsy and it has been a struggle for me. I walk around mentally and physically exhausted, worrying about my daughter, We are working with her neurologist to get the seizures under control.. but I feel so sad inside for her. Nobody wants to see their children suffer. . The company my husband works for has just announced they are filing bankruptcy, so he’s not sure how much longer he will have his job. I am trying to “prepare” by couponing and starting to build a stockpile…But really…material things mean nothing in the grand scheme of life, and without family, you’ve got nothing. Blessings to you and your family this holiday season. 🙂
my father passed away when i was 12 yr old i was the one who discovered his body i had a hard time growing up but never showed it..4 yrs ago i lost a brother who was serving in the marines.. im 28 yrs old. i have a 4 yr old daughter and a baby on the way. i take care of my mentally retarted brother..people tell me i should put him in a home but i dont want to because i dont want him to be mistreated. my mother she had mulitple strokes 4 times..thank goodness she is still here with us but she’s now handicapp..cant see nor remember things..i take care of her too..i dont want to put her in a home also because i dont want her being mistreated..since the economy went down we have been struggling..pawning things and selling things just to get by but we also try to enjoy life every day cause you’ll just never know when something bad could happen…but it is also money stressful…thats why i just started to coupon..since we have a baby on the way…anything helps right now…i am so thankful for all you couponers helping other ppls and giving out advice how to coupon….it really does help me alot and teach me alot bout couponing..i just wanna truely thank you guys for your advice and help! <3
I am a single mom on disabilty. My sons father is a dead beat dad. Almost all of my income goes to my mortgage, electric, and internet. Really, we live on less than $50 a month. If it wasn’t for finding giveaways, freebies, and coupons online, we probably would have lost our home. There are others less fortunate. We have each other and we have a home of our own. I enter some giveaways knowing I will donate the prize to others who need them. I recently donated like 50 tubes of toothpaste (free w/ coupons). There isn’t a way my son and I would ever use them, and I know they are a needed item. I try to teach him others have it worse. He is 8 and knows I have to win him his presents this yr.
Thank you for sharing your story. I am a widow with four young children. We live off of Social Security benefits, WIC, Link, and other government help. I don’t mention this to most people I know because I feel judged. I stay at home with the children. If I were to return to work we would end up in a bigger hole than we are already in. Unfortunately most people don’t realize that by returning to work you lose some of the social security benefits, no more WIC, Link or other government help, including our medical benefits. By the time I paid for childcare and make up the difference of these lost programs I would be in the red. I am thrilled that I reconnected with an old high school friend that turned me onto coupon blocs. Through blogs such as yours I have learned to be frugal and reap the rewards of couponing. I am now teaching my family and friends how to use coupons and save for a rainy day. My pay it forward is to foster for the local animal shelter. I take pregnant moms and help them deliver their puppies. My children and I then care for the mom and puppies until they are ready for adoption. It doesn’t cost us any money, only our time. The experience has given us more rewards than I can begin to count. I love helping out those less fortunate, even if they are four legged. Many blessing to you and your family this holiday season. Know that because of you and your blog, my family is surviving.
Thank you for a beautiful holiday story. It really touched my heart because I was one of those single mothers who had to rely on the kindness of friends and strangers to make it through every holiday. I’ll never forget one Christmas when I was at my most destitute. My husband had just left our family and refused to pay child support. (We all know it takes a while for legal proceedings to take effect.) I was working two jobs to make ends meet for myself and two little girls. I had not one dime to spend on Christmas and my heart was heavy in those weeks leading up to it. How would I ever make that first Christmas without their father a joyous one?
One evening, as I was feeling most in despair, I heard a knock at the door. I opened the door to find a huge laundry basket filled with a mountain of wrapped presents! Many of the gifts were even addressed to me, not just my little girls. One gift was labeled “open immediately,” and in it were two beautiful holiday dresses for my girls. I to this day do not know who contributed. As if that weren’t enough, I also received another box of gifts left anonymously. On top of that, an anonymous donor chose my family as a “12 Days of Christmas” recipient. For the 12 days leading up to Christmas, I would find a package on my doorstep when I got home from work. One said, “One the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me…A 4th of July picnic!” Inside was a package of hot dogs, some buns, a bag of Cheetos, a 2 liter of root beer, and some paper plates and napkins! And on it continued, for 12 days of elaborate surprises, including a huge ham and trimmings for a dinner. On the last day, there was another huge box of gifts! The donor will never know how those gifts inspired hope in my myself and in my little girls. They were so excited each day as I brought them home from daycare, to see what would be left on our doorstep!
Like you, I learned that it doesn’t take much to turn someone’s life around and to give them hope. I learned to be grateful to each person I knew, because what if that person was the one who contributed to our happiness? (The great advantage of doing things anonymously!)
Thanks for asking your readers to contribute their stories and for inspiring hope.
foreignquang [at] gmail [dot] com
I Have been struggling as a new single mom of two young girls. My husband of 14 years decided he wanted an “open relationship” which I could not handle. I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis three years ago and sever depression. I was raised along with 3 brothers by an aunt an grandfather after we lost my parents when I was 9. My youngest brother was only 2. We grew up on welfare and food stamps and I went to to work at 15 and never attended college, I have been fortunate to be with the same company for 23 years, but financially and emotionally it has been a struggle. I was commited for a short time due to thoughts of suicide and bulemia this year. I am back on track praying that things will get better for me and my girls, I a living on a tight budget, accepting handowns of clothing for my girls and shopping at Goodwill for myself. I have also taken up couponing which has certainly helped. I am in therapy and my little girls, ages 8 and 1 have been a big incentive to get through this,. I am truly grateful for all the support my family and friends have shown an this is what keeps me going.
jmartin4868@gmail.com
I’m not a writer so I hope it’s easy to sorta understand.
I don’t want no pity or anything this is a good opportunity to get things off my chest, Aranda7892@yahoo.com not even worried about the GC tho.
(I’ll try to make this as short as possible I promise!)
I’m 19 year old female, married now.
I had and still have severe anxiety issues, it all started from the time I was 6. I watched my dad beat my mother and leave over something that was my fault. My father took my brother and I to chucke cheese for my birthday, we stopped at a gas station, some lady got in the car (lets call her Jane), my father said “this is Jane, she is my friend, don’t tell your mother about her because she will be upset”.. We went and enjoyed my birthday. When we got home I looked at my mother and smiled and said “I met Jane”, well apparently my mother already knew about this lady.. This gotten scary for me so I ran into my closet, which is where I spent a lot of time because I felt safe there for some odd reason..
After then I started getting abused by my mother, physically and emotionally, I rarely seen my dad (he actually got married to Jane) and when I did due to alcohol and cocaine he abused me as well along with Jane..Jane was really nice at first but I found out a year ago she is the most evil person alive but I’ll go onto that later.
*about to try to sum this up*
Pretty much I stopped going to school and missed 3 years total (actually ended up graduating a year early tho), was in treatment centers for my anxiety (total of 2 years), was locked up for not going to school (due to my anxiety which my parents really described that I was unruly, which i was not), ended up in foster care because the system FINALLY found out my parents were unfit and I do have anxiety.. I can’t drive because my father wrecked me on purpose, I’m actually terrified to even ride in cars but I deal with it. I’m almost anti-social which is why I’m working on starting a business from home..
* Fast-forward almost done*
2 1/2 years ago I met my husband, 2 years ago I moved in with my husband, then my dad let me come back home and bring my husband with me while we get on our feet (why i would want to move back in with HIM i don’t know why, but he didn’t abuse me anymore, mentally sure enough) my father then lost his job and moved out on us to go back to Jane, left us with all his debts (3 months behind on rent, 500$ electric bill) then a week later we got a note to leave premises, well all our stuff got left behind except a few things that my dad told us we could store at Jane’s..Husband wasn’t making enough working at wendys and we didn’t have much saved only to get us by, we went to a local church and they paid us a week to live in a motel, we slept in the car awhile but my 2 little dogs were suffering so I let a lady watch them and she never gave 1 back. My mother then let us stay a week with her, (did I mention my husband lost his job?), while I was there Jane came and stole our car with no notice, me and her don’t get along because of the emotional abuse (my dad gave me this car as a graduation presant but before giving it to us he took a loan out on it under my step moms name)..
We FINALLY got our place, YAY time to go get our stuff, so we go to my step moms, half of my stuff is sitting in the rain, the chords to my TV are cut off, and the only nice things we had were stolen or sold. Cops got called and cops said there was no proof.. While the cops are talking to me Jane is standing behind the cops, she was pointing at me and laughing.
*Happy ending!*
I no longer associate with Jane, I have my own place, My and the fiance got married, we have a car, my anxiety is getting better, i see positive in everything, I no how to save money now! HOWEVER- we are struggling because husband is having a hard time getting a job but he has an interview Friday *crosses fingers* , but I am getting my business together, the first thing we are buying is a bed, because we are sleeping on the floor.
*reread- Sounds like a freakin’ pity story, I apologize, my life is wonderful those things are all from the past except the happy ending! But man I feel much better typing it all out 🙂 Thank you for this opportunity!*
I have MS and am on disability therefore funds are limited but I have always had the necessities. My adult son owns a poultry farm and works two jobs to support his family. His wife is getting a teaching degree and not working at the present. They are in jeopardy of losing the only home my grandchildren have ever had. I told my grandson to remember to pray their farm sell. He said “I don’t want it to sell and have to move.” I have cut luxuries enabling me to purchase a $50.00 Wal-Mart gas card each month for my son. If I win a $50 gift card I will give it to my son to help their family in a small way.
In 2010 our wonderful little boy, Jaeson was born. However, he was born with a condition called Goldenhar Syndrome. He was born with multiple facial anomolies and problems due to the Goldenhar. He was our 4th child and had been in and out of the hospital for either surgery or sickness. Easter was coming up and with being at the hospital everyday with Jaeson, we did not have the opportunity to get Easter baskets for our children. Now to us it’s not a big deal but the kids would have wondered why the Easter Bunny forgot them. We came home one day from the hospital a few days before Easter and found 4 Easter baskets wrapped up and filled with goodies for all 4 kids and even a few things for my husband and I. This was from a friend who lived about an hour and a half away who knew we were stressed and busy and organized a donation to get the kids Easter baskets. I can’t thank her and everyone who donated enough for putting those smiles on my kids faces during such a troubling time.
Bsandromeda@woh.rr.com
Thank you for sharing your wonderful story, and for issueing such a challenge! No matter what I do, since the death of my husband a little over a year ago, my family struggles. I know that by the grace of God our needs will be met. I try to offer what I can to others, whether it’s my boy’s out-grown clothes, or just a word of encouragement. Sometimes just knowing that someone cares can make all the difference! Merry Christmas!
Every year we help out a family at my daughters school at Thanksgiving and Christmas time. We have a hard time making ends meet with me being a stay at home mom, but I feel lead to help others the best we can. My daughters school finds us the family that needs the most help and we provide a meal, store gift card and a few gifts. We never know who the family really is and they don’t know much about us but its our way to help. Last year my daughter (8 years old) went through all of her toys and clothes and gave 75% of them away to a family that had nothing. She knew she would be blessed through the holidays and from family and she asked if she could help. It brought tears to my eyes to see her being so selfless.
I am a single mom to a ten year old boy and a 19 month old girl. I am not working tight now but will be starting work soon making minimum wage working at a school cafeteria. Not sure when I will start since there is a holdup with paperwork and background check since I will be around kids. My ex husband (my sons father) is now laid off of work. My daughters dad has never met her and does nothing to provide for her. Money is very tight for my kids and I. Usually just have enough to pay bills and buy groceries with nothing left for extras. Your story gave me hope that things will get better. Thank you.
I did not know how poor we were when I was growing up until I was grown and married. My parents never let us know how they were struggling with finances, it was just a normal thing to eat beans and potatoes for dinner. My mother made something she called chocolate syrup and we would eat that for breakfast with butter and biscuits. We never went hungry but we didn’t always have what we wanted. It thrilled me when someone would give me clothes that they couldn’t wear anymore. My mother probably had to remake most of them because I was so small. I still don’t have a lot but God has blessed me and my husband and I try to pass it on to others. It may not always be monetary but love goes a long way to encourage when you are down.
I am moving on Friday, and, although this is really a bad time to move, I am truly looking forward to going to a lace where both my son and I will be surrounded by friends that care, and are willing to help us find a home of our own. Finding a home would be the best Christmas I had ever had.
After reading the many comments on this site it makes me realize how lucky I am. At times through out my marriage there have been times when we struggled, but somehow by working together we always managed to get through it. I am a suicide survior and have been struggling with depression for many years. I am lucky that my husband has a good job and we are able to provide for ourselves. This year I have been trying to focus on the good things in my life and seeking out ways that I can help others in our community so that they to can have a Merry Christmas. I spend alot of time on the computer entering giveaways and I try to think of where I can donate the prize if I win. If I don’t win I hope it is one of these families who truly need it.
beh2351@frontier.com
I count my blessings everyday. I have been married for almost 20 years, three children, one with autism, take life one day at a time, whenever I think I’ve got it bad I always remember there is someone else going through more than I am, I am also thankful for my faith to get me through this life, Happy Holidays, God Bless, Tina
I realize there are many in need of financial aid at this time. I am on disability but very thankful that I can pay my bills. My adult son owns a poultry farm which is a full time job but with his wife in college getting a teaching degree, he also works nights five to seven nights a week to support a family of four. They have relied on credit cards to get by and you can guess their financial status. For a few months I have been able to give him a $50 Wal-Mart gift card to help with gas. If I receive this gift card from you, I will also give it to him. Thank you for the opportunity to enter to win.
kwoods01@windstream.net
My grandma lost her home to a fire when I was very young and the entire community came through to help her through the holidays. It was such an awesome but heartbreaking event.
Life is hard no matter who you are, but it is how you handle those situations that make you the person you are. After years of bad relationships and being a single mother of 2, I met a wonderful man. In November 07 I was working as a nurse at a walk in clinic and one of my regular patients was determined that I meet her brother. After several weeks I agreed. 2 weeks after meeting him my brother died at 22 very unexpectedly and Steve (now my husband) stayed by my side and took wonderful care of me an my children at our time of need and that was the moment I realized he was different and the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. In early Feb 08 we got news I was pregnant, though we already each had 2 kids from previous marriages we were excited. 4 days after finding out I became very ill an they thought I was miscarrying and was told to follow up with my MD the next day. Again we were devestated. Instead of getting horrible news we were told that I was having twins. We eventually moved in together and our family life was great until June. June 9th we went shopping for car seats and I became very ill on the way home. Steve immediately called my doctor and brought me straight to the hospital. After there for 2 days both of my lungs collapsed. I spent 21 days in the hospital an left oxygen dependent and had to quit working. In July, the doctor decided my body could not take anymore and scheduled a c section. Our bundles of joy came on July 29th at 32 weeks. They stayed in the NICU for several weeks and finally came home on August 19th. Of course they were very sickly from being premie. Aden had surgery @ 5 weeks old. We thought things were finally looking up for us only to be shot down again. We were devestated 4 days after Aden’s surgery when we lost EVERYTHING due to Hurricane Ike. Starting over was very hard. We lived in a camper with 6 kids for 4 months before we finally found what we thought was the perfect home. We purchased the home and settled in only to be devastated yet again. The home was full of mold and was causing our babies to be even sicker. At that time we had also taken in 2 more children that were for a friend of a friend and they could not take care of them. I had 4 children under 2 not including the other 4 under 9. Life was hard but we always made due. We lived day by day and check by check, but could not be happier because we are all loved. We have slowly began remodeling after gutting our home and as finances allow, we have lots of medical bills. The kids understand that luxuries don’t come our way and we work for them. My husabdn works 7 and 7. On the 7 he is off he work in the fields rice farming. I run crawfish cages – rain, snow, cold, sunshine – so we can make ends meat. Thanks to your site we are able to save money with some of the great deals we find. We do not have a shopping trip without price matches and coupons. We have made the best of our situation and look forward to tomorrow as long as we are together. My favorite saying is I could be just as happy in a cardboard box as long as I have my family with me. Yes it is tough and there are times where I want to give up, but I look in the faces of all the kids and change my mind. The kids know that there will not be much of a Christmas this year but we have each other. Most of our money goes to fixing our house and medical bills but money does not buy happiness. We could not even afford a tree this year, so we took the kids in the woods and cut one. They made all homemade old time decorations and they could not be prouder and neither could I. To tell you everything we have been through would take a whole day so I just touch points here and there. Thank you again for such a wonderful site
Every year at this time, I can’t help but remember back to when I was 18 years old. I had graduated high school and had started college. Every morning was the same, I would get up early before my parents and I would leave for my 40 minute commute to college and return in the afternoon. It was 2 days before Thanksgiving in 1989, and that morning was the same as any other. But when I was almost home, about a half mile from my house, the road was closed down by the police department. They stopped me and told me that I could go no further, because there was a large house fire and the fire trucks were blocking the road. I asked what house it was, and the officer said he didn’t know the last name of the people but that it was the horse farm right around the curve next to the fire department. To my horror, he had just described MY house!!! He let me go ahead to the house and what I saw seemed to be a nightmare. The whole second story was gone and it was still burning. It was a 3 alarm fire, with firetrucks from 3 departments everywhere in the street and the yard around our home. My Mom and Dad were fine, THANK GOD, but 3/4’s of our home and almost all of our belongings were gone. I lost everything because my bedroom had been upstairs. Then we found out that our house insurance wouldn’t cover the damage because there was 1 breaker in the box that my dad had replaced that was larger than what it was supposed to be. We weren’t rich by any means, my dad was 41 years older than my Mom, so he had been retired for years by then. We didn’t know what we were going to do. My Dad was a member of the Demolay Lodge and a member of the Red Cross.
After finding out that our insurance would not cover the damage, these groups really came to the rescue. They had groups of people out to our house every day, 12 hours a day, cleaning up and rebuilding, and even bringing lunches to feed everybody. We were all brought to tears with everything they did for us. They had our house restructured and reroofed by the time the snow fell so that the snow would not destroy the rest of the home. My Dad had spent all the money he had, and these groups had put out even more money than my Dad, but we were broke. Mom and Dad had to tell me that there just couldn’t be a Christmas that year, but it was ok, we were all together. A couple weeks before Christmas my Aunt called and said that we needed to be at her house a couple days later. We said ok. When we got there, we didn’t know what to expect, we thought maybe dinner. But what we walked into was a dream. These groups had gotten together with my Aunt and a couple of churches, and there was a ROOM FULL of presents for us!!! They had replaced almost everything that had been lost!!! That memory with be with me till the day I die.
Since then, every year (even though we may not be able to really afford it) we strive to make at least one child’s Christmas memorable and exciting!! Hopefully someday I will be able to repay the debt that I feel in my heart to these organizations, but until then and till the day I die, I will continue to do all I can for others who have lost or just don’t have all they need or want.
This post made my cry. Because I am going through exactly what your mom went through. Except I am not divorced I am with my boyfriend of 11 years. But we are going through that. And I cannot by one. single. thing. for my children this year and it KILLS me.
I am going to link you to a few blog posts about the story of my current sitation.
Excuse the crabbyness of this post. My wonderful (not) SIL was being a twit and talking crap!
-You dont even know the half of it: http://lifeunscripted1.blogspot.com/2011/07/you-don-even-know-half-of-it.html
-It’s that time of year where I freak out: http://lifeunscripted1.blogspot.com/2011/09/it-that-time-of-year-where-i-freak-out.html
-And Its Done: http://lifeunscripted1.blogspot.com/2011/10/and-it-done.html
-Failure: http://lifeunscripted1.blogspot.com/2011/11/failure.html
-Ball of Emotions: http://lifeunscripted1.blogspot.com/2011/12/ball-of-emotions.html
RIght now, I am trying to keep my composure for my children everyday. I try not to let them see me break down every day.
Your kindness is amazing! <3
I’m 23 years old n married to a wonderful man …. when we were 21 we recevied a call from dcfs asking if we would do foster care for my 2 neices n nephew …. of course we said yes(and we have no kids of our own …. well 3 .. 2 dogs n a cat lol) family is everything to us and we were also very close to them … they basically already lived with us …. it has been really hard going through this but very rewarding also! we have struggled to give them a good life. we are now starting the adoption process which is truly a blessing from god because we recently found out i may not be able to have kids 🙁 also their biological mother( my husbands sister) is still apart of their life which is great! we are about to enter the time of year when my husbands work gets really slow and its hard for us to get by.
I am the proud mom of 5 girls. They are 25,20,17,15 and a very sneaky 3 year old. I also have a 6 year old grand-daughter. Over the course of my life i have tried to give everything i had to my girls. I am saddened this holiday season because i just have nothing left to give. My oldest lives on her own with the grand-baby and my 20 year old lives at college. My saddness comes from the younger 3. We live in a home that is falling apart…holes in the floor, 1 of the bathrooms leaks so badly we cannot use it, holes in the ceiling that i am always having to fix and so on and so on. My girls are so good and they ask for very little. They are all honor students and they love me. They even told me that they did not want anything for Christmas except for us all to be together. They go feed the hungry with the church, they go to homeless shelters and pray with the people there. It would really mean so much to me to see them smile. I would love to be able to give them the gift card and let them go get something fun and not needed. I think it is wonderful that you have given folks a chance like this.
Your story made me reminisce about my own childhood. It is not something I think about a lot. You know that time and events just carry you forward and I like moving forward and not looking back unless it is remembering the good times. But, there is a time to think and remember the struggles too and learn from them or just to feel the emotion because it is part of your life. The one thing that I remember is holes in my shoes. My father had a decent job when I was growing up, but we didn’t see much of that money since he was a very selfish and mean man, not really a judgement, just a fact of his life. Mom had health problems and had at least one visit to the hospital a year to remove tumors from her vocal cords. It was an on going affliction that she had spent her life battling, since the age of 3. She never went to school since she had spent the ages from 3 to 13 living in a hospital ward. Her parents were share croppers and their way of living would not support the care of the tracheotomy that she had during that time. My Mom was nothing if not a survivor and managed to keep myself and my two siblings clothed and feed, at least to the minimum levels, without any public assistance. We probably shouldn’t have needed it but my father would stay away for months at a time without sending any money to my mother. Basic bills would get paid by him but sometimes there was no food and at least one winter we went without heat. Although she just wasn’t able to work any type of regular job, I remember the Fall my mother picked cotton to put shoes on our feet. She was down and ill for a long time afterwards, but we had shoes, not good shoes, but we had went the entire Summer without any shoes at all, so shoes to go to school in was a very big thing. That year there were no bought school clothes just hand me downs from relatives or neighbors and I remember being teased and shamed because my clothes didn’t fit quite right and most of them were boys clothes. I struggled out of that situation and worked hard to make it better for my own family as well as help out my mother any way I could. As a single parent, I have had my own struggles but for a time I did think things would be alright. I joined the Army and spent a few years active duty before opting for a Reserve career and to work the civilian sector. I can say that up until 2003 my life was alright. I wasn’t rich or even middle class, but I had money for my bills and decent clothes and food for the kids. We could eat out on occasion and keep food in my Mom’s house as well as send a small check to her each month. Then when I had just started a new job with a new company I was called up to active duty. I made a commitment and I stood by it even though it was a short run. Six months of duty and my the unit I mobilized with stood down and I came home to unemployment and to face employers who did not want to employ a reservist that could very well end up mobilized or deployed for any given period of time. It was then that my Mom’s health started failing and I rushed home to care for her after her bowels ruptured and she had to live with a colostomy. For many months I was her nurse and ran her house and settled my children into her home. I gardened and canned and scrapped by with no income, but managed to get us all through it and nurse my Mom back to health. It was at that point I volunteered to mobilize to a Stateside assignment and things were better while I spent that time on active duty. But those days came to an end her in Kentucky. I demobilized here where there were friends and family was close and took a temporary position. It didn’t last to become a permanent position and I was again looking for work. The moving and period of unemployment had since bleed my savings to nothing and I had very few months of unemployment benefits. It was then that I had a call from home that sent me running back to care for my Mom after she came down with pneumonia that developed into massive infections her frail body just couldn’t fight off. She was sent home from the hospital so, I went home to take care of her one last time . Those were the hardest weeks of my life, living as her hospice nurse, bathing, feeding, medicating and taking care of her every bodily need. It was hard on the kids too, hard for them to see their grandmother literally on her death bed. I don’t think I have ever had to be stronger and I had been a soldier for many years. We left shortly after her funeral, unemployed, heart broken and with no future ahead of us. I thought I had found a position working with the same Army Training division and was doing odd jobs and cleaning apartments to make ends meet until the job announcement opened. I had contacts and had worked the position while in uniform so I knew that I was uniquely qualified for the position. I met with my contacts and the possibility was almost real until one instance derailed just about any possibility of getting myself out of this financial hardship. The one person that could help me get into the position asked a favor of me, to care for his ranch just for awhile until he could find someone else or until I got the position. He was a mobilized Army officer and someone I had worked for and trusted. So reluctantly I agreed since I was not wanting to move and then move again for the new position. That was the beginning of even more tragedy was that move to a remote area and to a position that is both hard and unrewarding. I work hard days with no extra income at all. My time and work are only compensated with a place to live and my monthly utilities. For the first time I am on assistance and now because my youngest received a death threat at school, we are both home bound and only just managing to make ends meet by couponing, getting freebies and the charities of a small few in the community. There was no position to be had because the same person that asked me to come here ended up being the hiring authority for the job and declined to consider me, either because of the appearance of impropriety or my guess is that he could not find any one to do what I do here and just didn’t consider me for his own selfish need. I will never know what the reason is. With a military injury to my left knee, the steroids I had to be on has made my weight out of regulation for the military so now at 3 years before retirement I can only hope for a medical retirement and that will take travel and trips that I can not afford to make. I can only try to survive in conditions that are not always sanitary because of lack of home maintenance. These same conditions make life here more reminiscent of 1900’s living since I am toting water and growing my own food to survive. It is strange how things come full circle. I think about the neglect of my father of my mother and us kid’s and compare it to my unresponsive landlord/employer and the standards we are required to live in. My saving grace has been to finally get internet a few months ago and that means more savings and that I an find deals and bargains that let us have a few more necessities to help me make those illusive ends meet. Thanksgiving and this whole month had been the hardest. Truck repairs took more than I had to pay and we were without a vehicle for several weeks. Those weeks I had to reinvent and substitute most everything to come up with meals to feed us. Now, Christmas is almost upon us and it is grim, the most grim I have seen since I was very small. I never wanted my child to go through the need and the want I did as a child but here it is, full circle. I plan one meal at a time, one bill at a time, one problem at a time and all one day at a time with one foot in front of the other. I am isolated here and know few besides my mail lady since I am a stranger here to the people who were born and raised here. I reach out here on line and find kindness in the bloggers and corporate entities that help out even if unintentionally to make our lives a bit better. Today, I managed to get a pair of gloves for Alexandra for $1.68 and for that little thing I almost cried. But what did move me to tears was to win a get one of the $25 AMEX gift card from Fedex that allowed me to buy a couple pair of shoes with a Black Friday Special because I thought about the holes. I thought about those holes in my shoes when I was little and the squishing sound they made when water from the rain got into my shoes and I had to walk through the school hallway, squishing and wet with the kids laughing at me because they knew I was wearing shoes with holes in the bottom. So Alexandra will have shoes, new shoes and that made me cry. And now she will have a pair of gloves in her stocking. God willing and with a little luck she will have a few more things under the tree. If there is a way I have the determination to find it. Christmas is coming and where there is Christmas there is hope. It is hope that gets me up in the morning to feed the animals and get her school work started. Life is hard but we are here together and we have love and hope. A pair of shoes can make me cry but at the same time I know there are more out there with even less than we have. I have started a donation pile of my own that goes to the food bank/clothing pantry every two weeks. It only consists of free items that I manage to get with coupons or online freebies, but I know the things I donate are luxuries to those I give it to, even though only samples or travel sizes. My, my I have just let it all pour onto paper so I will end here. My daughter and I would love to be considered for your giveaway, whether it is $50 or less if you want to share with someone else in need for Christmas. We need but I know others need too. If I can give I will, if only because I believe and I know in my heart that with hope there is a way, I just haven’t found it.. yet. Thank you.. from my family to yours I wish you a very Happy Holiday and a better and happier New Year!!
Growing up for me and my siblings was very hard, i grew up not knowing my dad and when i was 7 my adoptive dad and my mom split up my siblings and I never heard from him since then, My mom finally remarried about 3 years later, I was so happy knowing that i would finally be able to have a real family and maybe some structure in my family’s life everything was going so good for about 2 years, my mom and step dad starting using drugs, people would come to my house at all hours of the night, my step dad wouldn’t come home for a couple day’s. My brother was diagnosed with typei two diabetes, He was so sick when we first found out he was almost in a coma, My mom not being around and neither my step dad I took on the roll caring for my brother, i gave him insulin shots three times a day and made him his meals. I took care of my siblings till i was 17 when i finally moved out, got my own apartment with friends, i soon come to find out my mom and brother had moved out to the trailer in front of their home and my mom would leave my brother in their with her dog who peed everywhere with no heat or water or nobody to do his shots, i took my brother from my mom, i cared for him for about 5 months, until my grandma called me and told me she would come take custody of him and he could come live with her. My brother is now in college, and living on campus and i couldn’t be happier for him!!! i knew that he would make something of himself!!!I now am married and have two kids Bailee is 4 and Liam is almost 1. I have been working odd and end jobs to try to make it by in the economy my husband recently lost his job because he is legally blind in one eye, and the company felt that if anything happen while him working they could be reliable, I am now losing my house, my car everything i own because we cannot find a job. me and my kids are going to be one the streets in about two weeks, with no where to go, the family i do have here i don’t talk to due to not being good people, I am at my end and i don’t know what to do i have called every place i know of for help and i get no where, I’ve called shelters and none can take my whole family. My kids are not having a Christmas i don’t have money for even a Christmas tree, due to having to leave my house soon. I am not wanting anything from anyone just venting a little i guess. God Bless and everyone have a very merry christmas!!!!!!
Juicy_Jessica888@hotmail.com
I just read your post and it was very nice.My name is Sheila and here is my story.Most of my life has been about trying to help others in need.We had a small convenience store in Bakersfield California.When I would go to the grocery store to buy for home,I would notice that a lot of the stores were throwing away produce that hadn’t even been unpacked from the boxes that it was shipped in.Such a waste.
I started asking the produce people if I could take some of this(it was in the trash after all)and give it out to people who did not have much.I was told NO.The health department and their insurance would not allow them to give away something that they were going to just throw away.On a few occasions though I found a generous person that told me if I would just quietly pull my car around to the back they would look the other way while I loaded my trunk full(I had a Cadillac at the time so I had a big trunk).On a few occasions,I got caught by security and was told to put the TRASH back.On other occasions I managed to slam my trunk shut and say”TRASH,what TRASH.They gave me a couple of plants and that is OK”.
The times I did manage to hit the payload,I put it out for the neighborhood kids to come and get in the morning while they were waiting for the bus to go to school and for after school.We had apples,oranges,bananas,cantelope…all kinds of tasty treats for the kids and they loved it.A lot of the fruit that we got wasn’t even ripened all the way and still packed from the shipper.Why would anyone throw away good produce and then refuse to give it to someone who is hungry.I even had a time while taking my daughters for a ride one day,we ran across a man that was plowing under a field full of lettuce.There was nothing wrong with this lettuce.When I asked him why he was doing this,he told me that the government bought the lettuce and told him to plow it under.
As soon as he went to drive off,needless to say,My daughters and myself went to picking as much lettuce as we could,as quickly as we could and loading the car full.That night I also got some produce from one of the grocery stores and the next day a lot of the needy families in the area had a nice big salad on their table to go with dinner.I hope no one judges me harshly for doing this.I never gave out anything that I myself wouldn’t eat.I have on occasion since then,because we have been down on our luck,eaten things I have gotten from stores that were being thrown out.If these things are not rotten,why throw it away.
Well there it is.My way of giving in a society of takers.No one should ever have to be hungry and not have food.No one should take for granted a fully stocked pantry or fridge.If you have extra,then give to someone else who has nothing or very little.If you have something in your pantry that has been there for a while or something you have decided that you do not like it as well as you thought.Give it to someone who can use it.
I am not in the position to do this as much as I used to be,but given the chance I would do it again.
My e-mail address is bostonterriermommy60@yahoo.com
I could tell my story here as well, but suffice it to say that mine and your childhoods are eerily similar. Add to it the several generation cycle of early parenthood and eventual divorce. I do collect items that are “free” and are extras that we don’t need, put them in a box to deliver to our local food shelf. It’s just a small gesture, but one that makes me proud to be able to do after years of going hungry myself.
I am one of 7 children, blessed with 2 amazing parents. I have very fond memories of my childhood and especially the holidays. One Christmas in particular sticks out in my mind…I was 5 and the special gift I received from Santa was a kitchen play set. It wasn’t until I was much older that I realized just how poor we were (at least financially, as I feel our family was rich in so many other ways). My parents provided what they could and I’ve come to learn that the community and the church blessed us with their generosity. The play set I received was actually second hand, and mom cleaned it up for me. I am thankful that there are people in this world that open their hearts and give to help make sure that all families can enjoy this special time of year. As times changed for our family, my parents would give back to the community as they were able-and not just at Christmas. It became a part of our everyday life.
I love Christmas! I am proud of my up bringing and love the family that I was blessed with. I am blessed with the ability to be able to afford to help others, and love to contribute as I can. Toys 4 Tots, local organizations, food pantries, and friends in need…whatever I can do to help others have the same happy memories that I have of my childhood. Over the past few years I have become quite coupon savvy and spend the time hunting for the “ultimate” bargains. This allows me to save in today’s economy and in turn it allows me to give more!
Thanks for sharing your story and for all the stories shared here! Merry Christmas! 🙂
Why lie– life has been very easy for me. My parents divorced when I was 8 and I moved in with my mom and step dad. At first I didn’t like him but I soon realized he could provide for my mom in ways my dad didn’t. He bought her whatever she wanted, took her on lavish vacations, and the like. When I went off to college, I found out she got sick. She was diagnosed with Stage 3 Ovarian Cancer. I decided to move home and help take care of her. My step dad did nothing. I thought we would go to the ends of the earth for her care, but no. He said her chances of dying were 2 in 3 by the end of the year (later we’d find out he was right). He let her have chemo but I wanted to travel to the “big” hospitals and get her cured. She died in September after he kicked me and all her family out of the hospice room. The reason I’m posting this is because money canNOT and does NOT buy everything. My stepdad had all the money you’d ever need and it didn’t bring her back. Now, my 2 dogs and I visit that hospice she was at and love on all the patients.
I’m so sorry for your loss 🙁
You are so very right though.
Just found your site, thank you for sharing your story! It is a good reminder that the holidays can be made special and memorable no matter what your circumstance – and it doesn’t take much from one person to another to help out in that manner.
Thank you for sharing your story, I was really touched by it and thank you for wonderful generosity in offering this contest.